


iCome Out of the Closet

by AllenGaynor



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-08
Updated: 2010-02-18
Packaged: 2013-10-03 01:51:17
Rating: M
Chapters: 17
Words: 43,956
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5650539/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1862297/AllenGaynor
Summary: Can Carly Shay and Sam Puckett's longstanding friendship remain intact when Sam publicly comes out of the closet and realizes her real feelings for her best friend? Caution: slash/femslash. Rating for sexual content, language and ?violence?





	1. iCome Out of the Closet

Hello, all. Welcome to the first installment of "iCome Out of the Closet." This is by no means my first femslash piece, nor is it my first slash piece of any kind. Please be hyperaware that I am in no way, shape, or form a creator and/or owner of iCarly. Please enjoy.

* * *

Carly Shay

I laughed as Freddie signed off, having just shot our latest iCarly show. "I can't believe how funny that was!" he said, his hands on his knees. He was doubled over with laughter, and Sam couldn't help but smile, herself. "Baby carrots in her nose? What'll fans come up with next?"

"Yeah," Sam replied, heading over to Freddie and patting him on the back. "Unfortunately, I thought you were going to talk about your face, there, for a second."

"Stop being so mean - OW!" Freddie rubbed his upper arm, glaring at Sam. "What'd you pinch me for?"

"Well…Fred-Weird," she said, emphasizing her fave nickname for him. "If I was being mean, you'd already be nursing two broken arms." Sam looked at me.

"It's true," I said, nodding at him.

"Sam's still so mean," muttered Freddie, heading downstairs and not thinking Sam had heard. Apparently, he didn't hear Sam's thudding footsteps as he opened the door to the studio. Sam stopped just shy of him and screamed at the top of her lungs, making Freddie fall backward onto his butt. "OWWW!" he said, glaring at Sam.

"You'd better get out before my fist falls on your butt," said Sam, holding up her knuckles.

"The floor did the job for you alre - I'm going, I'm going!" Freddie lifted himself to his feet and stumbling his way down the hall and out of the apartment.

Sam turned to me, grinning and shaking her head. "That kid's a nub!" she mumbled to herself, running her finger along all the equipment Freddie had accumulated for the show over nearly three years on the web. She turned to me, and even though she was looking into the middle-distance, I could see something was bothering her. She looked troubled, almost scared.

"Sam," I said, sitting in one of our favorite beanbag chairs. "Sam, what is it? You look like something's bothering you." I patted the beanbag chair next to mine, and she looked like she'd barely heard me. "Sam? You okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, Carls. I'm just thinking, that's all."

"About what?"

I waited for her reply, but she looked like she couldn't find the words. "Carls…have you ever had the feeling…" She looked up at me. "Have you ever liked someone…someone you've known a long, long time, and you couldn't find the words to say that you like them?" I nodded, not entirely sure where Sam was going with this, but wanting to get to the bottom of it. "I…There's this guy…"

"Ohh," I said, cooing over my best friend. "Are you in love, Sam?"

Sam looked up at me, again. "Yeah, Carly. Yeah, I've had my eye on this guy for a while, now. Forever, actually…" Her voice trailed off, but I couldn't find the right words to help her.

"Well," she said, looking up. "I guess I'll see you later, Carls." Sam opened the door to the studio, and I tried to call her back. "Yeah?"

"Why don't you tell me about this guy you've liked 'forever?'" I said, putting air quotes around it.

"Nah…I don't wanna talk about it, right now. I'm just…I'm gonna take a walk, go home, an' get some sleep. See you later."

"Okay. Don't hassle the meat vendor again!"

"You always knew what I was thinking, Carly," said Sam, shutting the door and walking out of my line of sight.

* * *

Sam Puckett

The streets of Seattle are the best place for me to think about things, and I guess that was how it was, that particular night. I walked around, not worried about people jumping me. I mean, who'd hit a girl with a roll of breathmints as a deadly weapon in her pocket?

I guess it was about one in the morning, and I was sitting on a park bench, thinking about how to best tell Carly. I've had this kind of shit going through my mind, forever. I've always liked Carly, but more than I've ever let on. How do I tell her I've been crushing on her for years? Hell, so's Fredward, but that's another story. I looked up as a jet flew overhead. Taking off, I'd decided. Fuck, I would've loved to have a seat on that plane…First Class…anything for complimentary meat.

"Puckett, why the hell didn't you just go straight out and tell her?" I said aloud, putting my head back and feeling the first drops of rain I'd actually enjoyed feeling. The Rainy City. This is why they call it the Rainy City. There's so damn much to think about that'll make you cry. I stood and brushed off the seat of my pants, looking at a hobo I'd seen before, now nibbling at a strip of ribs. He saw me and scurried out of the way, back to his sewer, or wherever hobos live. I didn't even care about the ribs, though. I was too tired, too in love to care. I was walking aimlessly with my hands in my pockets. Every once in a while, I'd stop and see what was around me, be sure I'd be able to get back to Carly's.

At around three in the morning, I stopped on the corner of a street that was lit by a streetlamp. At first, I didn't even think about it. Then, when I was about to move on, I saw one girl pulling another by the hand. They were both giddy and all giggly, just like all the pansies at school. Well, these two were different. They weren't just giddy and giggly…they were making out right under the lamppost. At the sight of them, I was revolted, but I couldn't help but notice how happy they were. I mean, two girls who seemed so good together, who loved each other that much, to just make out in public, not giving a shit about who sees.

Then my already-powdered heart couldn't take it anymore, so I just moved on, making my way around them to keep from interrupting their makeout session, but I couldn't help but stop and check out the ass on the dominant one. Sure, she had a good one on her, but she just didn't turn me on the way I'd have liked. So I just kept going until the rain started falling, feeling like some giant nub up in the sky crying on me. It was cold, and it wasn't salty, like the tears I needed to shed right now. Sam Puckett don't cry, I reminded myself. Mama don't cry, even over meat. I couldn't help it. I seriously stopped and just leaned my back against the nearest building, not caring it was covered in derogatory graffiti or what. I just needed a good cry.

It took a while before I realized I was cold and drenched to the marrow. I needed a place to stay. Looking around, I didn't see anyplace dry enough, so I walked up to the door of the building I'd been leaning against the better part of the very early morning. Surprisingly, it was unlocked, so I came on in and noticed the place was trashed top to bottom. Papers were everywhere, there were dirty, disgusting blankets even I wouldn't have touched at any normal time. Still, I needed some sleep, so I curled up in a corner and closed my eyes, not even feeling tired.

I was standing on the fire escape they'd finally installed in Carls' apartment building after one of the fires Spencer had somehow managed to set. Sometimes he rang the bell and started it on fire…what a damn nub. I shook my head and looked through the glass of the window, seeing Carly asleep on her bed.Damn, what a body on her.I knocked on the glass of her window, but she only stirred in her sleep. I knocked a little harder on the glass, but she didn't do anything else.

Making sure the fireplace was secured to the side of the building, I lifted the heavy window, the only access to her apartment above the ground. I climbed in and knelt at the side of her bed, wishing that she'd wake up at that minute and just kiss me.

* * *

Carly Shay

I knew I was dreaming, and I didn't mind that, even though in reality I didn't have these kinds of feelings for Sam. I loved dreaming about her, and I particularly liked the dreams where she and I were standing under a full moon on the beach in Oahu, listening to Hawaiian music and making out. I knew it was a fantasy that knew couldn't be true, but it didn't keep me from dreaming it.

"I love you, Sam Puckett," I said, drawing back and seeing what she thought of that.

"I love you too, bucket of barbecue chicken wings," she said, holding up an Insanely-Large Bucket-o'-Bar-B-Q wings. "But not as much as I love the only woman that has a Freddie's chance in Oahu." She looked at me. "I love you, Carls. I've always loved you."

"I know," I said, grabbing her ass and running my tongue over her teeth, roving through the depths of her mouth.

I felt her hand drop to the area I'd always longed for her to touch…in dreamland, anyway.

I started awake just as Sam began to pull off the only thing adorning my waist…a knee-length grass skirt. I'd known there was nothing under there, and even though I was trying to get to the good part, I guess I was rushing it, because I was suddenly aware of someone standing behind me, next to my bed. "Sam?"

I turned, but she wasn't there.

Now, I've always been a girl for the rules, but I'd never broken the cardinal rule I'd given myself when I turned thirteen: No masturbation. In spite of the feelings I knew were inevitable for a teenager, and not wanting to break it now that I was aware of these, but I pulled down the insanely cute pajama bottoms I'd put on earlier that night and saw the freshly-shaved place where the has-been triangle had adorned the spot between my legs and put my hand there, particularly concentrating on the clit, which was now throbbing. Sure, I've got a hell of an imagination, but despite the fact that I tried to concentrate on an image of Fred, who I'd recently taken a liking to, and who I'd been dating a few weeks, now, my mind couldn't help but wander to Sam. She was a sweet girl, sure, and kind when she wanted to be, but she was my best friend, and I'm definitely not a lesbian. I mean, sure, I like and respect LGBTQ peoples everywhere, but me, gay? Not a chance!

It was only with these thoughts in my mind that I came, an orgasm I'd always dreamed about erupting from deep within me. I wasn't sure whether I screamed, but regardless, I don't think Spencer heard. Instead of concentrating on what my mind kept bringing to the frontal cortex, I pulled up my pajama bottoms, hand still massaging down there, and went back to sleep.

I woke up that morning, only vaguely being aware of what had happened last night. But almost immediately, all of this was interrupted by the insistent pounding of Freddie's fists on our apartment door, evading his mom of her obsessive need to give him a weekly tick bath. "Carly! Spencer! Initiate Operation Runner-Up!" I ran to the door and let Freddie in, only narrowly helping him avoid his mother, who was holding up a box of what I would have thought was ordinary laundry detergent if I was naïve enough to not know about his mother.

"Thanks, Carly," said Freddie Benson, his hands on his knees. He was bent over and panting. "At first, I tried to get rid of that box, but I'd forgotten she had another one. And another. And another. And…" He looked up when I giggled. "What? What's so funny, Carly?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to suppress a laugh I knew wouldn't be held by the dam. "It's just…"

"What?" he demanded.

"I didn't think your mom would like you having hot dogs for breakfast!" I couldn't hold this laugh in any longer, and I fell backward, laughing like a maniac.

"What? Carly, what're you…?" He looked down as he saw the gun (which was ordinarily in his pocket,) hanging down. I mean, I was surprised how big it was. Sure, I'd known Freddie a while, but I'd never actually seen his tool!

"Carly, do you have a pair of pajama bottoms I could borrow? I don't mind if they're girly, just don't let Sam see me wearing them. Please!"

I couldn't talk. I was laughing so hard that even breathing was a trouble for me. Finally, I stopped laughing long enough to say, "Sure, Freddie! I've got something you can borrow. Just 'come' in here and I'll see what I can find."

"Very funny, Carly," retorted Freddie, covering his thing and making sure Spencer wasn't around to spot him without any pants on.

Freddie stood, looking like he wanted to sit on my bed but knowing I wouldn't let him without at least having a pair of underwear on. Looking through my drawers for a perfectly good pajama bottom, I said, "So, the hot dog vendor had something good to sell, did he?" I was still shaking with laughter, occasionally breaking into a new fit, none of which were as bad as the first wave.

"Really funny, Carly. Really, Really hilarious. No more jokes."

"All right, Freddie," I said, turning to him and holding a pair of pajama bottoms that had white bunny faces on them. "Looks like you were in kind of a pickle!" I started roaring with a new fit, and I tossed the pajama bottoms at him, which he immediately put on and tied as tightly as he could.

"Seriously, Carly! It's not funny!"

"Alright. Alright. But if the fire department calls asking for their hose, what do you want me to tell them?" I was still giggling, almost as if I'd breathed in laughing gas, which reminded me of the time Sam had first gone to the dentist.

"Carly, do you see me laughing?"

"No, you're right," I said, walking past him. "Where's Harry Potter? I think he lost his broomstick, again!"

I'd just fixed Freddie some pancakes and put them down on a plate in front of him when there was another knock at the door. Before I could put my spatula down, Spencer answered it. "Hey, Sam!" he said, allowing my best friend in. I heard Freddie choke on his orange juice, and I looked over just in time to see him move over to the other side of the kitchen table, but not before Sam had spotted him in his new pajama pants.

"Hey, Fred-Weird," she said, nodding at him. "Mrs. Benson finally put girl's clothes on you, huh? 'Bout time she did that. Some boy you made."

"Sam!" Freddie whimpered, not daring to provoke her any further. "Okay. Point taken. Not gonna speak anymore."

"Good. Now you might be able to get a boyfriend, for the first time in your life." Sam turned to me. "Hey, Carls. Could we talk? I need to confide in someone I can trust."

"Sure," I said, following her into the elevator.


	2. iTell Carly My Secret

_Sam Puckett_

I stopped the elevator on the top floor of the building and pressed the emergency shutoff switch, then leaned against the nearest wall for support. I could see Carly was curious, even worried for me. I like it when she gets that way. She's cute…hot, even, when she's got the right combo of skirt and boots.

"What's up, Sam?" she said, leaning against the wall adjacent. "You look like you could lie down."

"Probably," I said, looking at my shoes. I laughed in my mind when I thought of our TechFoot endorsement deal. "But, not right now. I've got something to talk to you about."

"Shoot," said Carly, smiling that smile that makes her so cute. Her lips…they're just so damn plump that I wanna suck on 'em, sometimes.

"Carls, what I'm gonna tell you right now is something I've never told anyone, before. At least, no one besides myself." I looked up at her and I could tell she'd wait until I said it, so I took a big breath and let it out. "When I was thirteen, I started noticing things…things I'd never have noticed if you hadn't been there to help me through all this family shit." I didn't say anything, and I'd hoped she'd say something, but she didn't, so I said, "Carls, I'm gay. I know you don't have the same feelings I have for you, but I've had a huge, huge crush on you for a while. And I know you're straight, and so I'm not even going to ask you if you like me that way, because I know you don't." I looked up and I saw that Carly was close to tears. "Don't hate me, Carly."

Carly shook her head. "No, Sam. I couldn't hate you. It's just…" She sniffed, and I pulled a scrap of one of Freddie's old shirts I used as a hankie from my pocket, handing it to her. "I didn't have any idea…" She looked up at me. "How long have you known, Sam?"

"Two years," I said. "Since I was thirteen. It's taken me that long to find the guts to tell you." I let my arms flap limply, because I couldn't find any way to tell Carly what was on my mind. "I would've told you sooner, but I didn't know how to. iCarly's been such a big success I didn't have a mind to take a chance at ruining it. I wanted the show to last a long time."

Carly smiled and laughed. "Sam Puckett, you are so honest…sometimes." She put the hankie into her jeans pocket and hugged me. "I don't like you that way, but I've always supported LGBTQ. If you want, I'll even help you find a girlfriend."

I smiled. "Thanks, Carls. There's no need to offer help. I'm not desperate, but if I ever need help…"

"…I'll be there," she finished, wiping her eyes with her hand. Looking up, she asked me, "So…what is it, exactly, that attracts you to me?"

"Huh?"

"You said you liked me. I mean, I don't like you back that way, but what is it you find attractive in me?"

"You're smart, funny, cute…" I couldn't believe I was saying it, but even though I had though Carly would start hitting me, she just smiled and laughed.

"I appreciate the thought, though," she said, releasing the emergency shutoff. "If it's okay with you, I'd like Spencer to know. And Freddie-"

"He's a damn nub," I said, leaning my head against the wall. "Tell the little dipstick, anyway. I know he supports LGBTQ. Besides, I wanna see his mouth fall open when he finds out he kissed a lesbian."

Carly nodded and the elevator door opened. I took one look at the living room and wanted to fall to the floor.

Spencer was bending chicken wire for one of his weird, latest sculptures. He was already a good way up what looked like a gigantic bird's foot. I stepped off the elevator and watched him for a while.

"Hey, Spence," said Carly, sending her brother falling to the floor because he'd been facing away from us and hadn't heard us come down.. "Oh my God! Are you okay, Spencer?"

"Yeah," said Spencer, lying on the floor and resting his head. "Yeah, but it kinda feels like I broke my butt! Can you help me up?"

"I'm on it, Spence," I said, walking over and holding out a hand while Spencer tried to get up off his pitiful, broken butt. "So what were you working on when we tried to kill you?"

"Well, I'd found some of this old, rusted chicken wire in the basement, and I said to myself, 'What would this do so well that's so close to what it was designed for?' Then, I got an idea, so I brought the whole spool up here and started bending it. I was building a giant chicken out of it. When that's finished," Spencer hobbled over to what looked like some picket fence he'd probably also hauled up from the basement, "I'm going to put this around it, paint it gray to look like it's wire, too!" I must've looked dumber than I felt, because Spencer said, "Chickenwire!"

Carly walked around the bizarre creation Spencer had started and then looked up at the ceiling. "Spencer, either you're going to have to raise the ceiling, or take this sculpture somewhere else and get some more chicken wire," she said, looking at the weird human-idiot hybrid she considered her brother. Spencer's cool, but he's so damn weird.

"Or," said Spencer, getting one of his brilliantly-stupid ideas, "we could put this half over there for a while," he pointed to a corner by his room, "and build the top half somewhere else!"

Spencer looked at us for a minute, then said, "Come on, you two! It's not that incredibly-"

"Spencer," I said, pointing at the couch, "sit down. I have to tell you something."

"Well, why can't I just-?"

"SIT DOWN!"

"Okay," mumbled Spencer, sitting on the couch.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I stood and watched Spencer's face while he listened to Sam explain that she was gay. At first, I don't think he believed her, but his mouth was hanging from his face and his jaw must've been in China, for all I knew.

When Sam finished, Spencer shook his head. "Wow," he said, looking up at Sam. "I knew you were a tomboy, but to find out my sister's best friend is a lesbian…" He looked at me. "Carls, you're sure you don't like Sam the same way she likes you?"

"No!" I shot back, almost feeling like my answer was rushed. "I mean, I support LGBTQ and everything, but…I don't think I could like my best friend that way, even if I was gay." I looked at Sam. "You're still my friend, Sam," I said. "You're still my friend, and I support you in whatever you do. If you ever need my help, just ask, and I'll see what I can do."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Carls," she said, sitting down on the coffee table. "You're a real friend."

Freddie walked in at that same moment and saw us sitting there. "Who died?" he asked, backing against the door, and I was glad to see that he had his own pants on, my pajama bottoms so obviously, pitifully disguised behind his back. "And why are you eyeing me like your next meal?" Freddie looked around and saw the giant chicken foot. "And what in the name of Commander Riker is that?"

"Chickenwire!" answered Spencer, excited at being able to show someone his sculpture of a gigantic chicken's foot, which would, undoubtedly, become something so much bigger…and so much more butt-breaking. "A giant chicken made out of chicken wire!"

"It looks like there's just a chicken's foot there," Freddie said, hesitantly. He edged his way toward the stairs, still trying to hide the pajama bottoms.

"It's going to be a chicken when I'm done with it!" said Spencer, going over to the spool of wire and getting out some pliers that I'd never seen before.

"Spencer, where-?"

"Otto," replied Spencer, referring to Socko's friend, who just happened to be named after his career…or vice-versa. "He said he'd gotten some better ones, and that I could use these. I'm just surprised there hasn't been-oh, God!" Spencer dropped the pair of pliers he had been working with for no apparent reason, and I looked over to see that they'd caught fire. "Carly! Get the fire extinguisher!"

"Already on it," I calmly said, handing him the red cylinder. He'd already managed to set fire to a drum kit, a metallic Christmas tree, and the desk bell of Lewbert, and the hideous-warted doorman downstairs, not to mention half the apartment when he'd bought a wok to make stir-fry…which is an entirely different story in itself. He had already sprayed half the foam on the pliers, and now he was working on the tool kit, just to be sure.

I was shaking my head, honestly sorry for my poor, adolescent grown-up brother, even though I so wanted to laugh.

Freddie came back from upstairs. "Hey, Carly, thanks for the…" Freddie stopped at the sight of the foam-covered floor. "What…never mind. I don't wanna know." Freddie said, "Thanks for the PJ bottoms, Carly. I owe you one, bigtime."

"It was no problem, Freddie," I said, shaking my head and laughing. Changing the subject, I said to him and Sam, "Hey, Freddie, after we mop up Spencer's mess, I think we should go down to the Groovy Smoothie. There's something we need to talk about."

"No," said Spencer, foam-covered and slip-sliding on the stuff that covered the floor. "No, you three go on. I'll clean it up, myself."

"Spencer, are you sure…?"

"I'll be fine, Carls," said Spencer, making his way over to me and putting his hands on my shoulders. "Now, go on and have a good time."

"All right." I lead Sam and Freddie out of the door.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

After Carly bought Fred-Weird and I a smoothie down at the smoothie place, she sat us down at the nearest open table and nodded. "What?" I said, sipping at my smoothie.

She let her hand somersault forward a few times, meaning she wanted me to say something. "Oh, right." I turned to Freddie. "Freddie, just because you're a girl, don't take this the wrong way."

"Sam…" whined Freddie. I punched him on the arm, and he rubbed the spot, giving me a hurt, puppy-dog look.

"Freddie, for two years, I've been nursing a secret that not even Carly knew about, and you know better than anyone that Carly and I are best friends." I sipped my smoothie, wanting so much to delay it and almost succeeding because the frothy drink was so delicious. "Freddie, I don't like you, even though I'm a lesbian." Freddie spit-take his smoothie all across the table.

"Say what!"

I punched him again. "That's for telling me what to do, Tech-Nerd. And, yes, you heard me right."

He looked from me to Carly and back again. "Carly, did you know about this?"

"Macrocosmically," said Carly, using nerd-speak that only Freddie and she would understand, "only about five seconds. Really, though, Sam only told me, today. That is, just before Spencer broke his butt."

Freddie tried to keep some smoothie from dribbling down the front of his shirt. "I take it he fell down, again?" said Freddie. Shaking his head and taking another sip of smoothie, he suddenly got diarrhea of the mouth, again. "So, you only found out, today?" Freddie turned to me. "How long have you known, Sam?"

"Since before you could read, you Nub. So, make that two years."

Freddie turned to Carly, trying to appeal to someone who wouldn't hurt him. "Why is she always so mean?"

This time, I put Freddie in a chokehold and hit one of the nerves in his back as hard as I could, which had him doubled over, and I could tell he couldn't breathe. "Now, how does that feel?" I said.

Freddie tried to shake his head, but he just sat there, doubled over. "Not…mean…" he wheezed. "Nice. Me…like…the pain…Sam inflict…on us."

"Good," I said, dusting off my hands and going back to my smoothie. "Now just sit there and don't move until it feels better."

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Something I'd never told anyone, not even spoke about with Freddie after the fact, had occurred nearly two years before that…something I'd never forget, and something that I'd never tell anyone.

I'd just had my thirteenth birthday, and Spencer had gone to bed. Luckily, Sam didn't sleep over that night, so I was okay. Somehow, Freddie had managed to talk his overly-obsessive mother into spending the night, even though it was only across the hall.

We'd snuck onto the elevator and shut it off when we reached the top floor, then Freddie had sealed the door with some gigantic, super-powered, long-lasting electromagnet that he'd only just recently perfected. Even though everyone knew Freddie and I had never officially been an item, I was only just starting to be curious about boys, and I'd thought, at first, that I'd had a crush on him, even though deep down I knew it wasn't true. And truth be told, I had seen Freddie's "tool," even though it hadn't been that big.

"Carly Shay," said Freddie, taking off his shirt and placing my hands on his chest, "I love you. I love you eternally."

"I like you too, Freddie," I said, not knowing at that time what real love was. In fact, I still don't think I do, even to this day.

I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it, too, so I took off my shirt and flung it aside, then unhooked my bra and let it fall. Freddie practically jumped out of his skin when he saw my bare tits, even though they were only beginning to round out at that time. He'd rigged up a dim light so we'd have enough light to see by. He looked at my pink nipples, and he placed his warm, sweaty palms on the chest that was still under construction, almost looking as though he'd die if it were a dream.

While he kneaded, I looked down and saw his pants tightening, and he was only on his knees, so I pulled the zipper down and unbuttoned his jeans. He groaned when I did this. While he crawled out of his pants and contemplated pulling his tighty-whities down, I was slowly, teasingly pulling my own skirt down to my ankles. I kicked that off, then slowly began to rotate and pull my panties down. They were my favorite pair, I remember, and they had Hello Kitties all over them. When I felt the air on my cheeks, I turned and smiled at him, then pulled the front down a little, showing him the peach fuzz that was slowly turning into my bush. He was sweating, and I saw him lick his lips, trying to hide the lump in his underwear. But I knew how much he'd always liked me, so I wasn't really surprised at how embarrassed he always was, particularly now.

I pulled my Hello Kitty panties all the way down and stepped out of them, falling back and lying on my back, touching myself because I was throbbing, hot, and when I put my hand there, a little wet. I wanted to relieve some of the pressure in my pussy, but I'd have to wait until Freddie went after what we both knew the other one wanted. He practically tore his briefs off and could only crawl over to me, despite the fact that, at that age, his Peter was dragging on the ground, almost like it belonged on an elephant instead of a boy. "You want what you see?" I asked him, nervous, but acting as sexually confident as I could. He nodded. "Freddie, I'm so fucking horny. I'm throbbing. Put your mouth there and see if you can't find the release valve."

Freddie gulped but put his head between my legs and licked wherever I pointed. I think he noticed that my index finger was tracing circles, because the next thing I knew, his warm tongue was on my clit and I was putting the nearest piece of clothing in my mouth to keep from letting the air out of my lungs like a banshee. Looking back, it was my panties, now turned inside-out because I'd taken them off, but that only added to my heightened arousal. I braced myself in the corner, my arms anchoring me into that one spot.

He kept forging deeper into my cunt, and I was so horny that I come every time I think about what he did to me that night. He groaned, and I moaned every time his tongue did something right. I think by that time he'd caught on, so he wrapped his arms around my upper thighs, the better to get at my honey hole. I don't think he minded my pubic hair so much anymore, because he suddenly began to lick me so fucking fast and so damn hard. God, he was eating me out, and he was such a beast!

Eventually, I came, and looking down, just as he pulled his face from my hole, blood leaked from there. "God, Freddie!" I whispered, excitedly. "God, you're such a fucking animal! And look at that! My cherry even popped!" I looked down at his throbbing cock, and I suddenly wanted him in me so bad.

I think he caught on, because he grabbed his Johnson and guided it into me. I'd never even had to put a tampon in there, but when he entered me, I felt a scream choking me. I couldn't believe it. His cock was so warm that it was almost like immersing myself in a hot bath. By then, we found ourselves in the center of the elevator, and he was on top of me, kissing me and sucking my nipples. I knew they were hard, and this only tightened them to a point I didn't think even my DNA could stand. Somehow, it did, and I found him pumping, that enormous piston of his plunging further and further into me.

He rolled over, and I was kneeling, doing miniature squats, loving the sensation of him in me. I let my head fall back, and I closed my eyes, feeling him come. A moment later, I came, as well, and I collapsed on top of him, not even able to roll off of him. "Freddie?"

"Yeah?" he said, cupping my tits, small as they were at the time.

"Freddie, that was amazing." I kissed him on the lips, then allowed him to pull out of me and stand up.

Even though I thought he was going to redress, I lunged at him, putting my mouth on his cock and cupping his balls, catching him off-guard. He backed against the door of the elevator, and I felt him getting harder in my mouth. Even though the taste was so damn bad, I just couldn't keep my mouth off of his shaft. He groaned, and I forced him deeper into my mouth. Hell, he almost choked me even though he wasn't fully erect, yet. I felt the fuzz on his balls and knew it was pubic hair coming in. Just as I began to study each individual testicle with my fingers, which were slipping around his scrot because I was so inexperienced, he came, and I think most of the cum went down into my stomach, because the next thing I knew, my throat was filled with something hot and sticky that I hadn't expected.

Freddie groaned again, and when he opened his eyes, I took his dick out of my mouth and planted my palms on the wall, laying my right leg on a rail that was in the elevator at that time. I think he got the meaning, because he walked over, still hard as a rock, and took it in his fist, shoving it into my ass. I screamed, and I thank God until this day that Spencer never heard.

Freddie placed a hand on either one of my cheeks and said, "You ready, Carls?"

"Do me just one more time, Freddie," I said, biting my lower lip against the pain of his rock-hard cock in my asshole. He started to push into me, and as his shaft hit its limit, he pulled out a little bit and pushed into me again, causing me to scream in horny agony. After that, I moaned, and he did, too. I was surprised at how fast he thrust into me, because every time I tried to take a breath, I could only ever get a little air.

Finally, he came into me, the heat of his cum spreading to every part of my body.

"Carly," said Freddie, "Carly, promise me you'll never tell anyone."

"You're right, Freddie." I kissed him, only then knowing I didn't love him like that. "You're right. It's too private and sacred to tell anyone.


	3. iAm in Love with My Best Friend

_Carly Shay_

"C'mon, Carls!" said Freddie, holding up the camera. "Let's rehearse for iCarly, okay?"

I nodded, taking a swig from my water bottle. As I put the cap on and straightened my hair, Sam walked in, chomping on a huge turkey leg, as usual. "Sam, you're five minutes late!" I said, tapping my watch.

"I know, Carly," she said, finishing her turkey leg and tossing it at Freddie, who didn't duck in time and fell to the ground, barely keeping his grip on the camera. "I was just down raiding your fridge when I saw this turkey leg."

"It takes five minutes to get a turkey leg?" said Freddie, rubbing his forehead and standing up, even though it looked like he wouldn't be able to hold himself up for long.

"Well, it does if Carls' big brother's holding it and won't bloody give it up." Sam looked at me. "All right. Let's rehearse."

"Okay," said Freddie, rubbing his forehead and tapping a few keys. "In five…four…three…two…!"

"My name isn't not Carly!" I said, finishing jumping jacks, which weren't only useful for getting me hyped up for a show, but they made a cute intro, too.

"And my name isn't not Sam!" said Sam, crazy remote in her hand. She was playing air guitar, and she stopped to press the scream button.

"Well, during our most recent segment, we promised we'd answer some fanmail from people who usually get fanmail. Here's a letter from Halle Berry!"

Sam picked up the letter we'd opened earlier in the day. "Dear iCarly," read Sam, enunciating in her deepest voice. "Whenever I'm feeling down, all I need is a laugh. A couple of years ago, I discovered iCarly, and I was immediately hooked. Since then, I refuse to do shoots or attend events that happen to run during the show. I'd like to say that I'm honestly a fan, and iCarly isn't just for teenagers, but for everyone, including Hollywood celebrities. Rock on, and make sure to chase your dreams! Halle." Sam folded the letter and threw it at Freddie, who was lucky enough to duck at just the right time.

"Well, thanks, Halle," I said, getting my face in the camera.

"Yes, thanks," said Sam, genuinely. "And, just so you know, Halle, my dream is to have a lifetime's supply of chili, free of charge and conditions."

* * *

After we were done with rehearsal, Freddie went home to his mother, who I swear yelled at him about his untucked shirttail. Spencer was almost finished with his chicken sculpture, even though it looked oddly like an ostrich. "Spencer," I said, looking at it, "I thought you were building a chicken." He halted in the process of attempting to strangle himself in the wire.

"I am building a chicken," he said defensively, looking at it and standing back. "Hmm…I suppose it could look a little shorter." He took the wire from around his neck and let it fall to the floor, but when he took a step forward, he tripped and fell.

"Spencer!" I said, rushing over to him. "Spencer, are you okay?"

"Yeah!" Spencer shouted, picking himself off. "Yeah, I'm fine." He looked around. "Yeah, I'm okay." He went to brush a little bit of lint that had found its way onto his shoulder and wincing. "OWWW!" he said, drawing his breath. "No, I'm not okay!"

"What's wrong?" said Sam, walking in with a cola in her hand.

"Everything hurts from the hair down!" said Spencer, going over to the couch and hesitating to sit down. When his butt finally reached the couch, he jumped up. "OW!"

"Spencer, just…" I gestured to his room. "Go and take a shower, okay, Spence?"

"Okay…" he whimpered, shuffling off. When he was about to enter the room, he turned back to me and asked, "Hot or cool?"

"Cold," I said, remembering every time I'd gotten a bruise that Spencer had advised me to put ice on.

"Thanks, Carls."

Spencer shut the door to his room and I turned to Sam, who was admiring Spencer's chicken-ostrich hybrid. "Y'know, maybe if he were to try to make an ostrich, it'd look more like a chicken."

I laughed and shook my head, lying back on the couch. "You can stay over if you want to, Sam. I'm too tired to put up with telling you to go home."

"Alright." Sam sat down and turned the TV on. "Mind if I surf channels for a while?"

"Go right ahead." I stood up, and Sam lie down in my place. "If you need anything-"

"I know where it all is," said Sam, popping a chip.

I nodded, then dragged myself up the stairs. I was tired, and all I needed was to take a nice, long sleep and wake up. _Maybe I should go to bed, earlier,_ I thought to myself.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

The next morning after I left Carly's place, I made my way back home, taking the longest way I could possibly have found. I was just thinking, clearing my mind. It was full, but I was relatively happy, even despite my circumstances. After all, I had a show that night with Carls and Freddie.

As I made my way past the mouth of an alley, I heard something that made me curious, so I made my way toward it, wondering what I'd find.

When I came around a dumpster, I found a girl about my age, maybe a little older, hands down the front of her underwear. I knew she could consciously see me, but she just ignored me. I knew she heard me, because the moment I came into view she snapped her head to face me. "I'm…I'm sorry. If you want me to go, I'll just…"

"No," said the girl. "No. Sit. Masturbate, if you need."

"Me? No, no I don't have a need for it."

"Oh. Well, you don't mind if I masturbate, do you?"

"No. Go right ahead."

The girl smiled and went on grinding herself, tracing her clit. "My name's Aura," she said, her head slowly moving to rest against the wall as she came.

"Sam. So…" I wasn't exactly on speaking terms with this girl, yet, so I was just thinking for something to say. I sat down and tried to avoid the view, restricted as it was, of her pussy. _Damn, she's hot._ I met her eyes. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Yes, I'm a lesbian," she said, a smile curling her lips. Her lips were scarlet, maybe cherry red, and even though her tightly-woven fishnet stockings were a similar color, she preferred black. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I don't." I nodded at her. "I'm the type of person where, if I minded, you'd already be humiliated to tears."

"Bad rep, huh?" said the girl, pulling her underwear up and moving her skirt back into position. "Bad girl with a bad rep?"

"Yeah." I wasn't turned on, but Aura was cute. "So, d'you mind-?"

"Meet you here same time tomorrow," said the Aura, smiling and walking away. "I like Chinese food."

I stood and watched her go, my eyes trailing to her ass, so complimented by that skirt that was so damn flouncy and girly that it made her look tough, and I felt my pussy start to throb. I got behind the dumpster and sat down, pulled my pants down, unbuttoned my boxers, and put my hand on my clit. This was the horniest I'd been since I'd come out to myself.

I was experienced, and I'd masturbated in front of mirrors, before. I'd studied myself, perfecting my technique of playing with myself. I was pretty…dexterous. _Dammit, that's just how Fred-Weird would put it!_ I said to myself. Anyway, I worked my clit, massaging it, circling it, then put three fingers in, not wanting to rush it but not wanting to do too little for myself. I massaged my clit with my thumb, and as I grinded myself, I felt something hit one of my cheeks and roll away. I opened my eyes, looked up, and saw a vibrator that hadn't been there, before. _Aura must've put it in my pocket. Looks like it's still in some kind of tube. Maybe that's how it was bought._ I picked it up and studied it. My entire hand barely circled the entire toy, and when I took it out of the tube, it was just as big as I'd thought, if not bigger.

At first, I just massaged my pussy with it, loving how it felt on my hot, wet hole.

Eventually, the entire area just throbbed with the horny pressure that built up there, so I gently prodded myself, barely breaking the surface at first, then going deeper and deeper, feeling hornier and hornier, occasionally bringing the toy out of me long enough to massage my clit, then drilling deeper and deeper, the toy feeling bigger each time I drilled.

During all this, I couldn't get Carly out of my mind. I tried to, but I don't think I really wanted to. In fact, I think there was a reason I tried to keep my best friend in my fantasy. She was so hot, a perfect ass, a nice choice in skirts, nice small, rounded tits…I was drooling, but I didn't bother to wipe it off my face.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Before the show that night, I was standing in front of the mirror in my room, studying myself in my underwear. _I know I ought to be deciding on what outfit to wear, but I just can't. There's something missing, I just can't think about what that is._

I'd already picked out a cute skirt, matching it quickly with a blouse and vest, but this particular night, I couldn't decide on something that really felt right. _Then again, nothing does, tonight._ I sighed, staring at myself in my bra. My breasts were well-rounded, and even though I knew a lot of girls had bigger chests than I did, I was alright with the pair I had been blessed with. I don't know what came over me, but I unhooked my bra and threw it aside, cupping my breasts and turning every which way.

I stood up, going over to my dresser but losing interest, then lie down on my bed. I knew what I was doing, but as if my hand had a life of its own, my hand made its way down to my panties, which I didn't protest, and it lingered there, caressing my skin. _God, I'm so damn horny,_ I thought to myself. _I'm so fucking horny, and I need a release._ Almost like it was answering my prayer, my hand acted of its own accord and brought its twin down, and my hands slid my panties down my legs and to my ankles. My underwear stayed there, and one hand cupped my breast.

My other hand brought itself down to my pussy, which was throbbing like the highway back into the center of Seattle at rush hour during a traffic jam. _God, I'm so fucking horny. And I'm wet._ My mind even had its own mind, and it immediately began wandering to thoughts of Sam. Sam, with that perfect ass, the perfect bustline, flat tummy…I was afraid, but something clicked. It wasn't immediate, but it was definite, final. In my mind, I knew it was one of the final secrets I'd unlocked about myself, even though it wasn't the Final Secret. Undressing Sam in my mind, slowly, I focused on her lips while she stripped for me, carelessly casting aside unnecessary garments that just didn't belong on a girl that damn hot.

Eventually, she was left with only those sexy, sexy boxers she always wore, even though I'd always thought, before I came out to myself, that they had been stupid, because girls just didn't wear boxers. Her nipples were tight and erect and pink, and I couldn't help but mentally suck one of them, and I felt my own nipples tightening.

I massaged the area just above the triangle that was almost regrown, but it was soft, and the hair was cropped at a respectable distance. Disregarding this at the time, I let my hand trace a path to my clit, where it hovered, and I immediately felt a wetness in that area that was oh-so-wrong but somehow oh-so-right.

Gradually increasing in speed, I ground myself, biting my lower lip and drawing blood to keep from screaming. It was so pleasurable, something I'd never felt before, no matter how horny I was. I was mentally kissing Sam, sucking first one nipple, then the other, working at her clit with one hand and grinding her with the other. She was screaming, telling me to fuck her harder and faster. I mean, sure, she wasn't submissive in life, but it was my mind, and it was such a hot fantasy that I couldn't pass it up. I respected her wishes and pounded faster and harder, feeling her coming. Her voice was almost real in my ears.

I came the first time, and I was surprised to find that it hadn't stopped with the first wave. My juices flowed forth and soaked the bed between my legs, making it sticky. I stood and reflected on what had just transpired. _I'm gay,_ I thought to myself. _I'm gay, and I'm having fantasies about my best friend._

Finally admitting this to myself, I pulled my panties on, as much as I now disliked wearing anything at all, and pulled on my socks, cute boots, skirt, shirt and blouse, then headed upstairs to join Freddie and rehearse for iCarly.


	4. iDate A Girl

_Carly Shay_

Sam walked in just when we knew she would. This time, she wasn't carrying her favorite turkey leg. Instead, she just walked in, immediately going after Freddie. "Fredward, the zoo just called and they said they wanted their wild ass back."

"Really, Sam?" I said, exasperated but trying to keep calm for the show. "Can't you just waltz in once without insulting Freddie?"

Sam thought, then shook her head. "Nope. Couldn't do it."

Freddie stood behind his computer. "We've got ten minutes."

Sam snapped her fingers and pointed to me. "Yeah, that reminds me Carls. I've got a hot date, tomorrow."

"Really? With who?" I said, barely able to hide the disappointment I knew was sure to come if I didn't speak immediately.

"A chick named Aura," said Sam, grinning broadly. "Man, is she hot! You should see this girl, Freddie. Maybe you should start dressing like her."

"Ha-ha," replied Freddie, fake-laughing.

"Anyway, we're going out for Chinese, so I'll need forty bucks."

"Sam!" I said, clearly remembering the time she'd tried to pay us back money she owed us.

"Relax, I've already got some money back home." Turning her head, she clearly muttered, "If my Mom hasn't spent it on another God-awful bikini, yet."

I pulled out my wallet and handed her the money, then looked down out of surprise. "Hey! Where'd my other forty go!"

"Compliments you so nicely, doesn't it?" said Sam to the money she'd taken from my pocket when I wasn't looking. Noticing my glare, she looked up and said, "What?" She can be so naïve, sometimes, but to be honest, sometimes she can be such a turn-on when she's like that. "What?"

My cunt started throbbing, so I immediately sat down in a chair and drained the rest of my water.

Freddie piped up at that moment, luckily. "Forty seconds, guys. Places."

Sam and I started running in place and loosening up our joints, waiting for the show to start. "In five…four…three…two…" Freddie gave us the cue, and we immediately began.

"Where's Carly?" said Sam, looking as though she was surveying from afar.

"Here I am!" I chimed, jumping around like a maniac. "But where am Sam?"

"Here am Sam!" said Sam, immediately going into a rhythmic, pulsing dance I barely recognized.

"So," I said, hopping backward away from the camera. "We've set up an excellent little prank for this episode."

"Be ready, iCarly viewers, because it's time for…" She pressed a button on her amazing remote. "_Messing With Lewbert!_"

Freddie immediately extended the mechanical arm holding the TV set above the car and activated the screen.

"Our doorman is so annoying," I said.

"So we set up a fake pizza delivery," continued Sam.

"…Featuring our very own, wonderful Principal Franklin," I concluded, immediately staring at the screen.

Principal Franklin walked onscreen in a pizza delivery man's outfit, looking oddly handsome. _"Pizza delivery for one…"_ Principal Franklin looked down at the tab. _"Bartie May."_

"_No one by that name lives in this building!"_ roared Lewbert, the wart on his face seeming to throb in anger.

"_But I was told that the delivery was to go to this building," replied Principal Franklin, setting the pizza down. "Could you watch this for a moment, please? I have to check with my boss."_

"_Make it quick!"_ Lewbert looked down at the pizza, and as Principal Franklin walked out, holding his pearPhone to his ear, Lewbert opened the box and took a slice of the pizza, kindly provided by my culinary-genius of a brother, Spencer. He stared at it a minute, looked to see if anyone would be coming in, sniffed it, and took a bite. For a moment, he was happily chewing. Eventually, his face twisted and he spat the pizza out, backing away. _"Yuccckh! That's gross!"_

Sam and I laughed as the screen retracted and we turned to face the camera. "You've got to admit, something in there made you at least crack a smile!"

"Or a mirror when you looked in one, this morning!" Sam added to Freddie. "Off topic a little, Carls, but don't you think when you look and listen closely that Principal Franklin seems a little like that Elf on Star Trek?"

"Vulcan," corrected Freddie from behind his camera.

"Freddie, shut your face! You are behind the camera." Sam shook her head and said, "Anyway…" She acted surprised when the strobes came on and the voice announced, "_Random Dancing!_"

Sam and I immediately jammed to the club music that pulsed through the studio.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

I slept over at Carly's again that night, dreaming of a beautiful, moonlit drive after sunset, my eternal bucket of chicken wings keeping me company.

I don't remember if it was my fourth wing or my seventy-fifth, but when I looked up, Carly materialized out of nowhere and walked up to me, her bush plainly visible in the pale moonlight, and I could see she was horny. Now, sure, chicken wings can turn me on a lot, but Carly's bare body…I offered her a drumstick. She sat and smiled, biting into the soft, juicy meat, not minding that I joined her in the indulgence of the same leg. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it.

When we'd cleaned the bone, I randomly tossed the bucket and sat there, looking at her, those perky little tits of hers teasing me, inviting me. I looked up, and she closed her eyes, mouth wide open, smeared in barbecue sauce. I licked the area around her lips a little bit, even though I didn't entirely rid her face of the sauce, and then put my tongue in her mouth, running it across those pearly whites. My God, this was so damn hot. She was so…wow. Carly lie on her back and spread her legs, parting the folds that I'd always wanted to part, myself, and bent closer. The chicken bone still in my hand, I massaged her clit, and Carly yelped so fucking loud I was instantaneously wet.

I woke up at the feeling of something soaking my honey hole, and because it was morning I looked down to see the cum, still warm and sticky from my violent orgasm, staining the couch. I smiled, sitting and stretching.

I noticed that it was only nine, so I cleaned the filthy little mess I'd made.

Carly came downstairs not long afterward, fully dressed and smiling. "How'd you sleep, Sam?"

"Not bad," I said, feeling the vibrator bump against my leg. I got out the carton of orange juice and started to chug it down. "How'd you sleep?"

"Violently," said Carly, emphasizing the word and looking away. "I just kept tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking."

"About what?"

Carly avoided the subject by saying, "So what's that girl look like? The one you're going out with, today?"

"Aura…" I said, loving the name, somehow. "Man, she's so hot! Skirts shorter than you'd wear, excellent choice of fishnets…loves black." I looked at my best friend. "She's sweet, y'know? Really seems to know what I'm thinking."

"That's good you'd find someone who understands you," said Carly, obviously thinking I didn't hear the hurt in her voice. Something was up, but I wasn't sure what. I'd heard the same tone in her voice last night, too. "Is she pretty?"

"Like I said. She's hot! Nice ass, just enough tits."

"You didn't-?" "No," I said, meaning it. "No, I didn't have sex with her. She's hot enough I'd want to, but…not yet."

"Well," said Carly, disregarding the orange juice carton and going straight to the fridge, "I'm proud of you."

I was starting to get pissed by now. "Carls, why don't you just fess up?" I said, slamming the orange juice down on the counter. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," said Carly, pouring a glass of milk. "There's nothing bothering me." She was using the tone that told me otherwise.

"Just say it. There's something bothering you, Carly! Don't you think I've known you well enough the past seven years to be able to tell when you're pissed about something?" Carly's hand trembled with the milk carton still in it, fridge open partway. She was still looking at me, but she didn't bother to do anything. She just stood there. "Yeah, Carly. There's something you're so Goddamn angry about! Just spit it out and tell me, already!" I was speaking my last words as calmly as I could, but I just couldn't keep it quiet much longer.

"Fuck yeah!" said Carly, finally, dropping the milk carton and forgetting about the fridge door. "I'm pissed that my dickhead lesbian of a friend is going out with someone without asking me what I feel about it!"

"Carls, what's all this yelling and cussing about?" said Spencer, walking into the room.

"Shut up, Spencer!" said Carly, wheeling to face him. He backed off, and Carly continued ranting to me about my supposed mistakes. "You never asked me a damn thing about what I thought about your dating this girl!" she screamed. "You never asked what I really thought about it!" She moved forward and punched me, and because I loved this girl so damn much, I just took it. It hurt, but not as much as what she was saying. "I tried not to be too obvious about it, and I thought you'd be intelligent enough to figure out something so fucking simple, but I guess not, Sam! I knew there was something obvious in something I said! I tried not to let you know!" She shook her head, bit her lip, and a tear ran down her cheek. "Fuck you, Sam!" Carly turned and ran upstairs, and I heard her door slam a minute later.

Spencer turned to me. "Did you do something she'd have a reason to be angry about?" asked Spencer, picking up the orange juice carton and taking a swig.

"You got me, Spence," I said, shrugging my shoulders and turning. When I reached the door, I said, "Oh, Spencer?"

"Yeah!"

"Backwash in the OJ."

I turned and laughed as he did a spit-take.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I'd never thought I'd be someone to do something so damn stupid. I'd found a pair of scissors I'd brought up a couple months ago for some iCarly gag and forgotten about. Really, I didn't have a plan, but I took them, separated the blades, held them over the white inner flesh of my trembling left wrist and let out a sigh as the pain coursed through me. It was blessed, liquid relief, and it was the only thing in existence. Sure, I wanted to make another stripe, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. One was enough…for now.

Soon, the flow of the blood somehow increased, and as I screamed, I sat up in my bed, the sky darkened. I turned and looked at my clock. Eleven o'clock the day after the show. I'd slept for more than twelve hours.

Turning on the desk light, I peeled back the sleeve on the inside of my left wrist but kept my eyes closed, not able to look at it in case I'd actually done it. Instead, I ran a cautious forefinger over the spot I thought had taken the cut, and opened my eyes. There was nothing there. No scar, no blood, no mark of any kind. Letting out a sigh of relief, I heaved myself up off my bed and made my way to the door. Opening it, I looked out and found the hallway empty.

There was a light on in the living room, so I went down and saw Spencer, sitting in front of his newly-completed chicken-ostrich sculpture, not moving a muscle. "Sp - Spencer?" I said, walking up behind him. "Spencer, you okay?"

He turned and saw me. Nodding, he said, "Yeah." I sat down at his motion for me to do so, and he stared ahead of him into the distance. "But I have been worried about you." He patted my knee, turned, and said, "Carls, I don't know what got into you, today, but whatever it is, you can tell me, if you want." He smiled nervously. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded, the subject made suddenly so much harder. "Spencer, lately, I've had these…feelings." I stopped, but he was listening intently, so I went on. "Feelings I've never had before." He continued to listen. "I've dated a few boys, and you know that. I've liked them all a lot, and you know that." He still listened, almost looking like he was holding his breath. "Yeah, I've shown something I genuinely liked in all the guys I've dated, but none of them really…I dunno. They never made me feel like a girl…a princess." My attempt at humoring him was failed. "Spencer, I can't hide it, anymore. I can't hide it now that Sam and I had that fight, today. I've been denying it for almost a week, now…. Longer than that, really. Spencer, I'm a lesbian."

Spencer's face didn't changed. He was still ashen-faced, worried-looking, and somber. The next question he asked I wasn't prepared for. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, and he took me into a brotherly-type embrace. "Well, I'm glad you finally admitted it to yourself, Carls," he said. "At least you've done something a lot of people couldn't."

He kissed my head and rested his chin there. "How d'you like the sculpture?" he said, gesturing at the wire that had been twisted over the course of almost a week.

I laughed. "Spencer, that's the best one you've made, yet," I said, genuinely meaning it. "What is it? Chicken, or ostrich?"

"Ostrochen," said Spencer, laughing at the name. "Kind of reflects what's been going on here, lately. Plus, it looks like an ostrich and a chicken."

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Aura let me into her room at eleven that night and lie down on her bed, putting her hand down the front of her pants. "Ooh, Sam," she moaned. "I'm sooo horny." She cracked one of her eyes and said, "Fuck me."

I moved over and kissed her, intent on doing just that but being so damn tired. Her tongue glided across my teeth. I smiled, removing my shirt and bra, letting her play with my tits and suck my nipples. I was so horny I was coming. I kissed Aura, and she kissed my back, removing my pants.

All that time, I couldn't get Carly out of my mind. Carly, with those black eyes, that jet-black hair, those breasts that just wanted to be kneaded and fondled, that tight, perfect little ass that was just so rounded and neat. I think, though, what got me all hot and bothered was the fact that she just had that personality that was really hard to ignore, and her smile…God, I just wanted to suck that bottom lip of hers like it was a piece of fat off a hambone. Yeah, she was that hot. She was that beautiful.

I don't think she'd noticed, but ever since I'd come out to her, every time she was facing me and looking the other way, I'd glance down and try to see what kind of panties she was wearing. Occasionally, I'd be lucky enough to see a color or a shape, but it wasn't often. Every once in a great while, I'd see that she was wearing a thong, and the moment I'd see that I'd feel the cum dripping down my leg, and I'd have to make like I was scratching an itch without lifting the legs of the things. It was just so damn irritating. And then whenever she hadn't quite gotten into a shirt yet and was trying to decide on which one to put on…God, if only she'd had her bra off.

Thing is, though, whenever she went to _Build-A-Bra_, she'd always somehow end up building one that complimented her shape. More often than not, it was lacy, but it wasn't a pattern that an outsider would notice. Sure, I wished she'd build a lacy bra all the time, but then it'd kind of ruin the purpose of that particular establishment.

Yes, I have a vocabulary.

Before she could pull my underwear down, I groaned, "Stop," into Aura's ear and sat up. "Aura, no. No, Aura, I can't do this."

Aura sat up and looked at me quizzically. "Sam? Is everything okay?"

I nodded, more or less telling the truth. "I guess…I guess I'm just not ready to have sex."

Aura acknowledged me. "That's alright, Sam," she said. "If you're not ready, I'll respect that." She smiled at me. "You wanna watch me masturbate?"

I smiled at the thought. "Just pretend like I'm not even here. I wanna see what you're like, without all the flashy shit. Don't try to make me cum, just…be yourself."

Aura smiled and giggled. "Okay." She grabbed a cock-shaped dildo from under the bedclothes and massaged her clit, closing her eyes and slightly parting her lips. I dressed quietly, still watching her as she penetrated a pussy that naturally had very little pubic hair, if any. I was aroused, but not the way I was with Carly. With this girl, I was only ever throbbing. With Carly…man, with Carly I was always dripping. It was almost like the Mississippi flowing backwards. Yeah, I occasionally watch an educational show. Big damn whoop.

Aura came with a final yip, and I saw her juices dampen the bed between her legs.

Almost like she'd forgotten I was there, she looked up and her eyes were wide in surprise. "How'd I do, Sam Puckett?"

_Well, for one thing,_ I thought, _not bad. For another, though, it just isn't the same being with you as it is being around Carly Shay._


	5. iCan't Take It Anymore

_Carly Shay_

In school the next Monday, I saw Sam hanging off the arm of a girl I'd never seen before, but who I knew immediately to be Aura, the girl Sam was now dating. She smiled and walked over to me, introducing me to the girl. "Carls, this is Aura. Aura, this is Carly Shay."

"Hey!" said Aura, smiling and giving a girly little wave. "So you're the infamous Carly Shay? I love your show!"

"Thanks!" I said, genuinely liking this girl. _Damn, she's so hot! Cute little ass and nice, round, ample…_

"Sam was offering to show me around the studio, later, if that's alright? If you're a little uneasy about it, I totally understand-"

"No, that's cool," I told Aura, nodding my approval. "Sam's practically a part of the family, and she's welcome over anytime she wants." I smiled and walked down to my locker, relieving myself of the books I didn't really need and picking up a book I did. "So, how exactly did the two of you meet?" I said, curious.

"Well…" said Aura, biting her lip. "It's kind of…"

"Let's just say it was an unexpected surprise to meet her in an alley out on the east side of town," Sam rushed, not embarrassed but clearly not caring to share their meeting. From the way she said it, she'd either lied to me and had actually had sex with this girl, or the girl had been playing with herself. "Sorry, Carls. I didn't mean to snap. I just…I'm not used to this, and Aura's my first girlfriend, y'know?" Sam looked at me, almost like a guilty puppy who knew she'd done something wrong.

"I understand," I said. I'd had plenty of boyfriends, and anyway, how different is dating a girl from dating a guy? Other than being criticized for it, there wasn't much.

"You do?"

"Yeah," I said, hugging my best friend. "You two only went out a couple of nights ago, and that was your first date, so you're not used to each other, yet. I'm fine with that."

"Thanks for understanding, Carls," said Sam, smiling at Aura and pecking her on the cheek.

As I made my way to my first class, I was thinking to myself. _Damn, Aura's hot! Sam deserves that girl. She's so nice, intelligent, socially cool…she's definitely someone I'd want Sam to date. Sure, I've only met her the once, but she's just…genuine. She looks at Sam like she adores her. She probably doesn't worship Sam, which is probably a good thing. Still, she and Sam seem perfect together._ I was smiling, and I couldn't help and look at Gibby, who, as always, was shirtless. He smiled and looked me up and down as I passed, and I couldn't help but think, _Yeah, Gibby. That's ever gonna happen!_

When I got to my first class, I sat down and noticed that the usual teacher wasn't there. Instead, Principal Franklin had taken the seat behind the teacher's desk. When the bell rang, he stood up and walked over to the chalkboard. "Hello, everyone," he said, picking up a piece of chalk and writing something on the board. "Your usual teacher has been dismissed, and I have done the last-minute need of taking her place…at least for the rest of this school year. I know it will end in a little over a week, but that is no need not to have a teacher in the room.

"Now, while I do realize that your Social Studies teacher had left off with the fire at the Library of Alexandria, I believe it to be a practical step to understand local, and far more modern problems." Principal Franklin looked up and saw Freddie raising his hand. "Yes, Mr. Benson?"

"Sir, I was just wondering why Mrs. Canterbury had to be dismissed?"

Principal Franklin sighed and shook his head. "I am afraid, Mr. Benson, that is information I cannot divulge." He looked around the room. "Anyhow, let us talk about the most recent series of political and social victories and defeats regarding local and national issues…particularly communities that are persecuted for their belief systems." He opened a newspaper or some other leaf he'd obviously been reading before class had started. "There is an acronym I want you to memorize…and I realize that you are coming to the age that will provide choices that are harder to make. The acronym is: LGBTQ. That is to say, 'Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and in-Questioning.'" He looked up. "Yes, Ms. Shay?"

"I…that is, I mean to say…was this approved by the school board? It seems like parents would be pretty upset if they learned their kids were learning this stuff without their knowledge, never mind their permission."

Principal Franklin smiled and nodded. "Yes, Ms. Shay. To answer your question, these lessons were approved by the school board, the PTO and the PTA. It was by a slim margin that it passed, but it passed."

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

After school on Monday, I was at the _Groovy Smoothie_ with Aura, sipping a guava-lemon-mango slush, watching Aura as she watched me. Finally, she said, "So I hear you're quite the fighter?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I really don't like fighting, but I just can't help freaking out every once in a while. I've gone to therapy, but it didn't do too much good. That's why I've been in a lot of trouble in the past." I looked at her, then looked down. "Okay, that last part was a little bit of a lie. It wasn't always that I was freaking out, but it's part of the reason."

Aura smiled. I liked that smile. She had dimples when the corners of her mouth moved upward, and they made me smile. She looked so great. Her smile was the best part about seeing her, and it was impossible to frown while she was around. "So…I hope you don't mind me asking," I said, pretending to sip the rest of a non-existent slush. "How many girls have you actually been with?" I looked at her, and she smiled.

"Three," said Aura, reaching across the table and placing her hand on mine. "I only ever got up the nerve to sleep with the last one." She studied my face, then continued. "If you don't think you can take my word for it, that's okay. I won't ask you to do anything you're not ready to."

"And…you only see one girl at a time? Only have sex with one…the one you see?"

She nodded. "I've never cheated. Again, you don't have to believe me. Trust is something one earns over time." She giggled. It was a girly giggle, sure, but it was a damn cute one. So long as she didn't laugh like a donkey.

"Are you flirting?"

"Maybe," she said, blushing a little. "Why? Is it that obvious?"

I smiled. I couldn't help but wonder if she was a good kisser. _Am I imagining it, or does she want me to kiss her?_ I couldn't tell. She was the first girl I'd ever been with, so I wasn't sure what the signs were if a girl wanted another girl to kiss her. _Maybe they're the same signs you see when I see another girl practically begging for a guy to kiss her? If that's true, then she definitely wants my lips on hers._

There was only one way to find out. Taking the hand she'd offered in my other one, I leaned across the table and let my lips meet hers. They were so warm, so soft, and even though the bottom one wasn't quite like fat on a hambone, it was…her lip…it was like a dang peach. I just wanted to suck it until there wasn't anything else I could do. Sure, she'd tried to get me to have sex with her, and she'd masturbated for me, turned me on a lot, but I'd never actually kissed her. I pulled back and saw surprise on her face, but it was more of a cutesy, admiring smile. "Sam…you kiss very well." She smiled, and couldn't help but do the same.

"Thanks, Aura."

Leave it to someone there to serve your every whim to ruin a perfectly good moment. "Spit-baked potata?"

"Get lost, nub!" I said to the manager of the _Groovy Smoothie_.

"Well excuse me for tryin' to keep this place open!" said the guy, whose face was hurt and pissed at the same time.

"Yeah, well the way it's going right now, the United States wouldn't be open much longer if it was a business, anyway," said Aura, who had only ever been soft-spoken. This new side of her was something else, though. She looked hot when she was angry. The corner of her mouth twitched occasionally, and her eyebrows were up, giving her this devil-bitch look.

Generally, the food-on-a-skewer dude doesn't back down, but for him to actually fall into a seat that'd just been vacated behind him…that was something else. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so damn opinionated! I admire that, really. I just…" He actually broke down and cried.

I'd never been the kind to comfort someone, but I just had to put a hand on his shoulder. "Look…sorry. I was wrong. I didn't think about what'd happen." I looked around for something to say. "How much?"

Immediately, he perked up and simultaneously said "A dollar fifty!"

"Here…give two to someone who'll take 'em!" I said, feeling exasperated that the guy'd actually taken advantage of me like that.

"Much appreciated, Ms.!" he said, putting the change in the register and moving on to his next victims.

"Where were we, Aura?" I said, sitting back down and putting my hand on hers.

"I think," she said, "we were about to make out?"

"I like that!"

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Freddie and I walked into the _Groovy Smoothie and I immediately saw Sam and Aura making out at one of the tables. "Look at them," I said to Freddie, who looked a little flushed but was smiling. "They make such a cute couple, don't they?"_

"_I've got to admit," said Freddie, nodding. "I never thought I'd see the day Sam actually dated someone with two X-chromosomes."_

_I looked at him, kind of confused. "You…haven't answered my question," I said to him._

"_Huh?" He looked at me. "Yeah," he said, turning back to them. "Yeah. They really do make a cute couple."_

_Over the next few days, I didn't see as much of Sam as I usually do, but I was really, genuinely happy that she'd found someone that suited her interests. Even though Sam told me everything, I wasn't the most jealous I'd ever been of her. Instead, I just couldn't help but listen to everything she told me about Aura. It was never annoying, and I loved Sam so much that I just couldn't ever tell her to knock it off. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn't have. I'd never get over it._

_On the weekend after our next iCarly show, Sam and I were sitting down on the couch and discussing life. It was one of those odd days when, even though Sam talked about Aura, she didn't have much to say that I hadn't already heard._

"_I don't know why, but Gibby seems like he's looking at me more and more, lately." I looked over at Sam. "What do you think?"_

_Sam looked up, took a look at me, and burst out laughing. When she recovered, she said, "Yep…yep, I can just imagine it! The Shirtless Wonder and his Midriff-Maniac girlfriend!"_

_I shook my head. "That kid will never be normal." I chuckled a little, but inside I was just dying of laughter._

_The door opened a few minutes later, and Spencer was holding open the door, still entwined in a girl I couldn't identify. From the look of it, they were making out like crazy, and it was hard not to think of two long-haired pro wrestlers trying to make it look authentic. "Umm, Spencer?" I said, looking over. "Spencer?"_

"_Yeah?" He looked up and saw me. "Oh!" He finally pried the arms from his waist and introduced me to the girl. "Zoe, this is Carly, my little sister, and her friend, Sam."_

_The girl named Zoe looked at us and smiled. "Oh, yeah! I know who you are! You have that webshow! My boss actually wants me to do a piece on you, but try as I might, I just can't seem to find the two of you!" she said, holding out her hand. "Not only that, I prefer not to do pieces my boss is crazy about."_

"_Well, so long as your boss thinks you're a good writer."_

_Zoe nodded. "Thank you!" Zoe smiled. "I've told Spencer how I've done work for the LGBTQ community, and he told me Sam just recently came out of the closet."_

"_That's true," said Sam, looking the girl up and down, not checking her out but getting a smile of delight from her bod, anyhow._

_We talked a while more, and then Zoe had to leave. I was sorry for that, but in my mind, I saw competition building between Zoe, Aura, Sam and I. The girl wasn't bi, but I could sense the lust in Sam's mind._

_Spencer sat down after retrieving a Peppi Cola from the fridge and took a swig out of it, draining half the bottle. "So what you two been up to?"_

"_Talking," I said to Spencer._

"_About what?"_

_I told Spencer, and even though I had plenty to say on the subject and talked for more than twenty minutes, Spencer eventually started yammering on about Zoe. Sure, she was a pretty girl, and very genuine, but I was soon bottled up with emotion._

_I tried to hold it back, and when that didn't work, I tried interrupting Spencer. "Spence…Spence…Spencer!" I shouted._

_I couldn't believe how much it actually took to get him to stop moving his mouth. "What's up, Carls?" he said, looking at me with this concerned look he gets whenever he sees me in trouble I just can't find my way out of._

"_I…I…" I was trying to think of the words that would make me feel better…a lie, even. I just couldn't hold onto it._

"_Is everything okay?"_

_I shook my head. "No, everything is not okay, Spencer! I've been wanting and wanting to tell you! I've been trying to tell you, both of you, Freddie even, and they've all just over your heads! I've thought about getting it tattooed on my damn forehead…!" Spencer was taken aback at my sudden use of language, but I didn't notice at the time. "…even started up saving for a freakin' neon sign! Do you know how much those things cost!" I was almost in tears before I could finally let it out. "I'MGAYANDI'MINLOVEWITHMYBESTFRIEND!"_


	6. iDiscover The Love Of My Life Is Gay

_Freddie Benson_

I opened the door after hearing a particularly emotionally-agonized cry. "What's going on, guys?" I said, seeing everyone staring at Carly in shock. Carly turned to me, almost like she was pissed, but I was surprised to see she was crying. "Carly, you okay?"

She shook her head, then pointed to Spencer, who was leaning back in his chair, in an obvious state of fear and shock. "Carly…just came out of the closet," he said, leaning forward and taking his little sister's hand in his. "Carly," he said to her, "Carls, are you sure-?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Spencer!" she said, probably a little more viciously than she meant to. "Sorry. Just…it's just all so new to me." She laughed, sadly. "Yes, Freddie. Ever since you've known me, you've been in love with a lesbian." She turned to me. "Pissed?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. In fact, I couldn't even stand after hearing her say it to me. I felt my butt hit the floor, but, unusually, I didn't feel anything other than the floor under the seat of my pants. I was looking up at Carly in shock. I shook my head. "No," I said. "I mean, I still don't get why you didn't go out with me before you came out of the closet. It doesn't really make sense for it that I'd be able to put two and two together, does it? I'd never known…" I shook my head. For the first time, I realized that I was on the floor, so I picked myself up and walked over to Carly. "I could never be angry at you for my being in love with you, even now that I know you're gay." I hugged her, but for the first time feeling like I was only trying to be her friend, instead of wanting to be something more.

For the first time, I realized Sam was looking at me, but not like she knew who I was. "Sam…Sam, you okay?"

Sam looked up. "Huh? Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." She nodded. Looking at Carly, she studied her face. "I dunno what to say, Carls. You just kinda…at first, I thought you weren't feeling well. But when you just kinda blurted out you're a lesbian and you're in love with me…" Sam shook her head. Looking at me, she got her pissed-off face and started hitting me with it…figuratively. "If you start crushing on me, boy, I'll throw you out the window!"

I backed down, naturally fearing Sam. Ironically, the arm she'd hurt a week or so previous began to twinge at the thought of her vicious touch. "Okay!" I said, holding my hands up. "Just don't feed me to Frothy!"

She got a considering look that I also didn't like. "Now that's a much better idea!"

"Well," said Spencer, "If you two want to be alone to figure things out…"

"That'd be nice, Spencer," said Carly, walking toward the stairs. She held out her hand for a moment, wanting Sam to take it, then decided against the action.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Carly led me into the studio and closed the glass door, then turned to me. "I can understand if you don't like me that way," she said, sliding down against the glass and holding her tear-stained face in her hands. "I just…I've been holding this in for weeks…" She cried a while, then looked up at me. "Just…if you do decide to kiss me or something, don't do it out of pity." She smiled, but it seemed like the corners of her mouth moved down.

I shook my head. "Hey, kiddo. I couldn't kiss you out of pity," I said, sitting down next to her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "If I did, I'd beat myself up over it for weeks." I did it automatically, but not because I was sorry for this girl I now held in my arms. I did it because I really loved her. Leaning in, I touched her face and wiped away her tears, brushing back that raven-black hair as I did so. Damn, her eyes were just…they swallowed me whole, taking me into their warmth. Her mouth was a blossom, and she parted her lips to let them touch mine. It seemed, though, like it took longer than eternity to kiss her…just to get my lips to hers.

I guess that just goes to show how much my heart was beating. Eventually, I felt the warm brush of those warm, soft lips on my mouth, and I ran my hand through her hair. _Damn, her hair's soft._

Soon, it was obvious we were both enjoying each other's touch. Much as I wanted to, I couldn't find the strength to put my hand on her breast. She was just…God, I don't know how to describe this girl. Amazing…Heavenly…There's just no way to put her beauty into words. She's hot, sure, but she's beautiful. I'd say one part hot, three parts beautiful. That was the longest, most romantic kiss I'd had in my life. I pulled back a little bit and studied her face. She wasn't crying, anymore. Instead, she'd opened her eyes and found mine. "Does that mean you love me, Sam?"

I nodded, my forefinger finding her lips and tracing them gently. "Yes."

For a better part of what little morning there was left, Carly and I made out, backed against the door and letting our emotion out. Both of us cried a little bit, and I was surprised to learn Carly'd been bottling it up for longer than either of us realized.

"I'm sorry for all this drama stuff, Sam," she said, kissing me and giggling. "Crazy, isn't it?"

"You're telling the Queen of Drama." I smiled and laughed, letting my forehead touch hers. "I love you, Carly."

"I love you too, Sam." We shared a final kiss, then stood to leave. "But…"

"Huh?"

"What about Aura?" said Carly, holding my hand. "Won't she be freaking out if she finds out you and I've been making out behind her back?"

I hadn't thought of that. I looked up and my eyes went wide as the Hadron Supercollider. "Speak of the Devil."

Carly looked up. "Oh, shit!"

Aura had come up the stairs with a dozen scarlet-colored roses in her hand. She was watching Carly and I, and when she saw me, she dropped the flowers and fled.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Sam went after Aura, and even though I didn't send her, I felt like I had. I sat next to the elevator door, listening to the distant sounds of a fight. "You were going out with Carly Shay all along, weren't you!" said Sam's girlfriend. Her voice was followed by a sharp smack, and even though Sam normally fought back when she was hit, she simply let the girl do it, as far as I could tell. "How long have you been seeing her?"

"I haven't been seeing her at all," replied Sam. "I swear, if I had, I wouldn't have asked you out!" _At least Sam's telling the truth._

"Right." The sarcasm was dripping from Aura's voice like venom. "Right. And I suppose Carly Shay wouldn't have asked out some red-headed bimbo, either!" Aura was trying to find something to pin on Sam so that she could feel vindicated. "So…what am I, your second?"

"NO!" retorted Sam. She replied more gently shortly afterward. "No. I would never stoop that low. You've never done anything that could've made me do that!"

"Like what!" Aura had tears in her voice, now. "Like what! What have I not done to make you do something so fucking, God-awful selfish!"

"I…" Sam couldn't find anything. She was backed into a corner, now. "I didn't mean…Look, Aura, I would never do something like that! I wouldn't do it to you, I wouldn't do it to Carly…!"

"Ooh, if only I had a quarter for every time I'd heard that one, Samantha Puckett!" Aura's heel hit the floor in the living room, and I could just imagine her foot putting a hole in the floor. "Yes, I've heard that one before! I've been cheated on before, and don't you think I can't read between the lines you're trying to feed me right now, you stupid…!" _SMACK!_ "SELFISH…!" _SMACK!_ "BITCH!" _SMACK SMACK!_ I knew Sam's face must be hurting right now. But worse, I was worried about her heart. She was a strong girl, socially and psychologically, but I didn't know how much she could take. She'd only come out a couple of weeks before, anyhow.

"I don't blame you if you want to leave me," said Sam. I heard the disappointment in her voice. "I won't ask anything of you. It hurts, but I suppose I deserve it."

There was a long silence before I heard the whisper, and I had to strain every fiber in my being to hear Aura's reply. "_You're so damn right, Sam_!" The door slammed, and I waited a minute to take the stairs down to the living room, where Sam was standing, hair wet with the sweat of confusion and face red from the beating she'd received from Aura.

Sam turned to me.

I couldn't think of anything to say, but I said what came almost automatically. "You did the right thing in letting her go…not demanding anything of her." I would've smiled, but I was afraid it'd come out sounding relieved.

She nodded. "You know, Sam, if you just want to stay over tonight, it's okay."

She smiled in a tired way and walked over to me. Taking her in my arms, I kissed my best friend's lips and patted her head, running my hand through her hair. "C'mon, Sam. Let's get you in the shower."

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

I was surprised when Carly agreed to take a shower with me. I mean, she didn't say anything about sex, and neither did I, but I was surprised.

When she stepped into the steamy stall, my eyes immediately fell to her breasts, which, although perky, had a muted beauty that refused to be flaunted unless she was topless. Her nipples were rose-pink, and as she walked toward me, they tightened to a point. At that moment, I knew she was aroused…horny. Looking downward, I took in a smooth-shaved pussy that was the same color as the skin everywhere on her body.

Carly took me in her arms and kissed me, her hands stroking my back. Eventually she let one of them fall to my ass and caress one of my buttocks, which turned me on so much.

Somehow, I knew what to do, so I bent down and took one of Carly's nipples in my mouth and sucked on it, being unable to resist the temptations my best friend's body represented. There were so many unexplored territories on the fifteen-year-old landscape in front of me that needed to be discovered, that were just crying out to be touched and kissed.

While I sucked on that particular nipple, she kneaded her other breast and backed against a the wall of the shower stall, moaning softly in pleasure. When I was done, I looked up at her and kissed her again, this time kissing her navel, then feeling her pussy. It was even more soft than I'd imagined, and so lovely. Her folds were inviting me, calling to me to part them and lick her, get her to cum. I wasn't quite ready for that, yet. I looked up, and she didn't rush me. So instead of doing what otherwise was instinct, I ran my hand gently down her pubic area and felt her shiver in delight. Her head was thrown back, and after a few more passes of her cunt, I parted her folds and licked her juicy insides.

She tasted better than I'd imagined…sweeter, somehow. Maybe it was the love she felt for me, or maybe it was my love for her interfering. Whatever the case was, I felt myself burrow deeper into her pussy and then sucking her clit. She gasped at first, then moaned, making me so wet and so damn horny.

Finally, she came and her juices flowed. I was surprised how long her orgasm lasted, but despite the time that passed between climax and final release, I was kissing her violently and passionately somewhere in that period of time, my arms on her ass and running the length of her back and waist. There was so much heat and passion in our kisses. I don't know how long we stood there in one another's arms, but we stopped a while to catch our breath and when I was ready, I backed against a wall and spread my legs. My entire abdomen all the way down to the spot between my legs, particularly my folds and clit, were aching and throbbing with sexual want. "I want you, Carly." I watched as she approached and sucked my dark pink-tan nipples. "I want you, Carls. Lick me. Fuck me…grind me." I looked down and saw her kneel, and I saw her forefinger circling my clit.

"Are you sure, Sam?" she said, standing and kissing my with her other hand around my neck, the hand that had been idling down there still working with my clit. "I will if you want me to."

I nodded. Whispering into her ear, I told her how much I wanted her. While she parted my folds and penetrated me with two fingers, and the pain intensified to something that wouldn't just evaporate, Pat Benetar's _Painted Desert made its way through my head. I don't know about her, but to me, it was definitely a romantic song worth more than a lot of people give it credit for._


	7. iSexed Freddie Benson

_Sam Puckett_

I collapsed on top of Carly in her bed, naked, sweating and sticky from all the cum. "Damn, Carly!" I said, kissing her again. "Damn! I'm a virgin, and I know that's good sex!"

"Same here," said Carly, kissing my bellybutton. "Damn, Sam! I never thought I'd be in love with you!" Carly looked into my eyes, her warm black ones penetrating my consciousness and sending a chilly shiver down my spine, something that was so much more than sex. "I love you, Sam. I love every…" she kissed my neck. "…lovely…" My lips. "…inch…of…you…" Finally her lips reached my nipples, but instead of sucking them, she gave them each a tender kiss and got a pair of panties from her drawer, slipping them on. "Sam…you're so much more to me than a friend. You're more to me than a lover…and you couldn't be a sister to me. You're too close!"

I stood up and grabbed her athletically firm ass, eliciting a soft whimper from her, followed closely by a kiss. "You're a lot more to me than any of that, too, Carls. You're like…you're another part of me…in a different body. One that's hot…" I kissed her still-bare breasts. "…toned…" Her bellybutton was so delicious. "…and holds the key to my heart, and my pussy." I kissed her panty line and massaged her clit through her panties, not wanting her to cum even though I wanted her again. With a lot of effort, I stopped pleasuring her with my loving hand and stood up.

"So," said Carly, pulling on a cotton shirt, disregarding her lack of bra. "So, would you consider us a…would you consider us an item?" Carly folded her arms over her chest, traces of tightened, beaded nipples disappearing behind her limbs. She cocked her head, then wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.

I shrugged my shoulders, collecting my clothes and putting them on. "I dunno." Looking at her, I asked, "Would you?"

"I would."

I nodded. "I would, too." While I was putting on my pants, I noticed that my shirt was backwards. I laughed, shook my head to myself, and turned it around. "So, would you like to go out, Friday?"

"Sure." Carly looked at me curiously. "I'd like it if you, paid, though." She moved over and kissed me.

I nodded. "I didn't want to tell you, but now's good a time as any." I took a breath, then let it all out. "I'm planning on getting a job. I've been thinking about it for a while, now, and it seems like I should grow up, sometime. And, who knows, I'll try to avoid the chili." I smiled, making Carly giggle.

"Yeah, right. You, avoid chili? Is that what you're going to do instead of buying a trampoline?"

"You're still not over that, are you?"

Carly shook her head. "Nope." She grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. "I'll pay for dinner this time, though. Until you get a job, I may as well play some sort of role in our being a couple," she said, looking up as Spencer entered the room with an armful of old clothes and mannequin parts.

"Hey, Spence, what's with the hacked-off limbs and stolen hobo clothes?"

Spencer looked at me and got his confused look, pooching out his lips and letting his gears really turn. "Oh, these?" he said, finally. "Yeah. I wanted to support you and Carly, so I decided to build a sculpture of you and Carly holding hands. This is more like a scale model. I plan to get a few hundred pounds of wax and build one…" Spencer looked up at the ceiling, then down to the floor, dropped his sculpture parts, moved forward, and slipped on an arm. He fell and with a dull thud landed on the pile of clothes. When he looked up, he said, "Two-and-a-half times bigger." He collapsed and Carly and I went to help that dweeb.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I talked to Freddie the next day, telling him the idea I had for iCarly. "I know it's a heavily-debated subject," I said, sitting in front of him with a root beer in my hand. "But what if we were to just think about it? For the time being, we'll just sit on it and think. Until then, we could just do what we normally do."

Freddie got his concerned look. "Well, seeing as you and Sam are an item, I think it might be a good idea to ease into it. The way you and Sam came out, it was more like, 'Hey, all! Did you know I'm a lesbian?'" I laughed, and he looked offended. "You see what I mean, though, don't you? This is a serious part of life, one people will criticize you for. How long is it until eight-year-old girls find out you like other girls? Sure, you're prolonging the inevitable, but you're keeping viewers whose mothers approve of your being on the web."

I nodded. "I know. It's just…" I couldn't think of what to say.

"It's just…what?"

I shook my head. "I dunno. I know it's still a while away, but soon we'll be seventeen, then eighteen…I wanna appeal to an older audience, too. I don't want to be stuck doing kid stuff forever. I like it, sure, but how much time is there, really, before iCarly loses its touch?" I looked at Freddie, then continued. "Don't get me wrong, I do love hosting this show, and I'm not losing faith that we'll be on for a while, but there'll be a show that'll eventually boot iCarly off the top sites." I looked at Freddie, who was nodding.

"I know what you're saying, Carly," he said, looking up at me and downing his Peppi Cola. "I respect that you acknowledge it. Thing is, though, that I don't want to think about it, and I still don't think it'd be a good idea."

Sam walked up behind me and said, "I think the nub-nub's right, Carls." She sat down next to me.

"Nug-nug!"

"Do I have to tell you-?"

"You don't care. Yeah, I know."

Sam looked at me and kissed me. I loved the feel of her lips on mine, so soft, silky and moist. "Maybe, though, there's still a way," she said, smiling slightly in the wake of epiphany.

"What?" said Freddie and I together, leaning in.

Sam put her hand on mine and said, "Maybe…it's still a rough idea, and I haven't thought about it at all until just now…what if some lame-o tabloid blogger were to do an authentic-looking interview with the iCarly cast and post it on the web? I mean, I know they don't have the best street-cred, but people do tend to believe that shit."

Freddie looked horrified, and I sat there, my gears already turning. "You might be right," said Freddie, finally. "I mean, sure, those people print some pretty crazy BS, but they, even if rarely, get something right in print. And the louder the headline screams, the bigger it sells."

Sam got a look on her face that was considering in nature. "So how much you plan to charge for that story?" she asked, thinking Freddie was serious about money.

"What? No!" he said, looking from Sam to me and back. "No! I couldn't sell the names of my best friends to total strangers! I'm still getting over Carly's being gay, remember? Not only that, but when we were thirteen…!" Freddie stopped, looking white-faced, and I got the distinct impression that he'd almost spilled about the time Freddie and I had had sex in the elevator of my apartment.

"What?" said Sam, curious, now. I hate it when she gets that curious. "What?" She looked at Freddie, at me, at Freddie…she couldn't stop turning her head, trying to get the information out of us. "What? C'mon, you guys are holding out on me? I'm the cohost of our show! Sure, you're our tech dweeb, but even you have to keep me in the loop, sometimes!"

I held Sam's hand, trying to seduce her into leaving Freddie alone, distracting her so that he could run. When I looked at him from my peripheral vision, he was sitting there almost like he was paralyzed. "Sam, baby, let's go down and get a smoothie." I nibbled at her ear and kissed her neck, getting a horny moan from her. "Then maybe we can take a walk, go to a movie…" She looked me ravenously in the eye, wanting, I knew, to eat me out. Eventually, though, she looked back at Freddie.

"What about you and Carly when you were thirteen?" she said, not trying to push me off but now so focused she was no longer horny. "Just tell me." She sucked in a breath and said, "I promise, Freddie. I won't hurt you if you just tell me."

Freddie was mortified, and he couldn't even shake his head. He couldn't flick his eyes over to me, he was so scared of Sam. He was breathing shallowly, almost like he thought Sam wouldn't see him if he stayed still and didn't move a muscle…like in _Jurassic Park._

I said to Sam, "Not now, Sam. Just…please."

"Fine," said Sam, relaxing a little bit. She turned to me. "If Freddie won't tell you, maybe you'll tell me?" Sam had a hopeful, pleading look in her eyes, almost like a puppy who wanted to sit in his master's lap at the dinner table. "You don't have to, and I won't pressure you. But if you'll tell me, I'd just like to know why the secrecy."

I was exasperated. "Sam," I said, running my hand gently down her neck, "Let's go down to the pier and talk."

"Isn't that like three miles down the road?"

I shook my head and laughed. "Just walk with me. Sam, I'll tell you."

We were about two miles down the road when I said to Sam, "When we were thirteen, we were all a little weird in the head. I mean, you couldn't stop obsessing over meat…you still do." I smiled at her, holding her hand. "And I…well, Freddie and I knew each others' secrets. Our passions, desires…" I trailed off, noticing that she was still listening. "Anyway, I walked in on Freddie while he was in the bathroom, one time. He'd been masturbating. You remember when his mom used to feed him prunes?"

Sam laughed. "God, I'd forgotten that!"

"Well, apparently she was never really feeding him prunes. Anyway, the next week was my thirteenth birthday. I remember you didn't spend the night over. We got into the elevator, Freddie locked it with that electromagnetic lock of his, and we…"

I stopped when Sam did, and she whipped around at me. "Wait, wait, wait…Freddie boinked you!" she said, looking almost angry. Even though I knew she'd hit anyone else if she looked like this, she didn't even move. "Tell me…did you or did you not…fuck…Freddie…Benson!" she said, mouth twisted with some emotion I couldn't identify.

"I did, Sam," I said, embarrassed, ashamed. "I had sex with Freddie."

"I thought you were a virgin?" said Sam, not backing away, but not doing anything else.

"When we…did it that night, I didn't say I was a virgin…I just said I knew that was good sex. I didn't specify…" I was shocked to see her crying, looking down with tears leaking from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't know I'd come out of the closet."

Sam looked up at me, tears still in her eyes. "I forgive you, Carls." She sniffled, blew her nose on a piece of the shirt Freddie had been wearing when we took off, and which I hadn't noticed her take, and kissed me. It was something that we shared just to let each other know we still loved each other, something that wasn't quite "sorry" and wasn't quite "I forgive you." She looked at me with her steel gray eyes and said, "You know this changes a lot, right?"

I looked at her, kissed her, and said, "It changes everything…and nothing."


	8. iCan't Move My Legs

_Warning: Spoiler Imminent! Everything is not as it seems. Although there are some parts of this story thus far that are true (such as Carly giving her virginity to Freddie,) there are others that are not (as in the case that Carly had come out of the closet for the first time in the chapter, iCan't Take It Anymore.") If you do not understand, read the chapter to find out._

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I'd been having that dream for nights on end, the one where Sam waits behind me while I'm in my bed and she just looks at me while I'm sleeping, wanting to kiss me. I mean, yeah, I'd had that dream the day before she told me she swung that way, but I didn't know it, at the time. I just thought it meant something, but I didn't know what. Come to think of it, I still didn't know.

I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, stretching. I noticed that the clock on my nightstand said seven-thirty, so it was no surprise when I looked over and Sam was there, in bed and snoring. Sure, I wanted to wake her up and help her get her day started, but I couldn't without taking a pee, first. God, I think I drank too much Peppi Cola last night, I thought to myself, rushing into the bathroom and locking the door.

While I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my eyes bore bags under them, like I'd been sleeping terribly. Sure, it wasn't the greatest dream in the world, and I was always wishing in that sleep that Sam would fucking kiss me, already, but it was a good dream, regardless. I went to splash water on my face, and when I looked back up, Sam was there in the mirror. It freaked me out, because I'd locked the bathroom door, so when I turned around, I was confused to see she wasn't there. I looked back, and even though she was gone, I thought I saw a fading pattern of Sam's lips curled in a seductive smile.

Okay, weird.

I went downstairs to find Spencer making pancakes on the pan. "Hey, Spencer!" I said, jogging down the last few steps and seating myself at the island. "What'cha making?"

"Pancakes!" Spencer said excitedly, flipping a flapjack and turning to me, grinning. "But, they're not just any pancakes!"

I couldn't help but laugh at my goofy older brother. "Okay. What kind of pancakes are they, then?"

"Well," said Spencer, setting the syrup on the island, a little too close to the heating element. I pulled the bottle over, and let him continue. "I was having a dream last night that I was making tacos. I didn't see anything you'd use to make normal tacos. Instead, there was fruit, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, syrup, an ostrich…!" Spencer pooched out his lips and looked at me. "Sorry, got carried away. Anywho, I woke up to my alarm clock this morning, set to music, and the first word I heard was…"

"'Pancakes!'" I finished.

"Bingo!" Spencer took the pancakes off the pan and put them in front of me. "Feel free to add anything you want, Carls! They're ours for the eating!"

I laughed, kissed my brother on the cheek because he was in a good mood that morning, and started piling my pancake with fruit. The kiwi was unusually good, so I added a small handful, along with some grapes and a chunk of leftover melon.

"What smells like butter? I hope it's bacon," said Sam, coming down the stairs.

"Pancake tacos!" Spencer replied excitedly, spraying some whipped cream in his waiting mouth. "They're jutht inventhed!"

I was choking on my pancake when a message popped up on the computer in front of me. I gagged, swallowed the stuff, and opened the message. _Hey, Carls, wats up?_

_Not much u?_

_Mom's taking me for a visit to Washington in a few weeks, so we'll be stopping by to say hi._

I smiled, thinking about a visit with Fred. For some odd reason, he'd been my boyfriend in one of my many recurring dreams lately. _Cool. I haven't been to the Space Needle in a while. Maybe ur Mom would take us?_

_She might. G2g. C U l8r?_

_Yeh._

After having the brief exchange with internet sensation Fred, I found I was still hungry. I was going to pick up my pancake when I noticed it was gone. "Hey, guys, where'd my pancake go?"

I looked over at Sam, who was still trying to stuff something full of whipped cream and fruit into her mouth. "Sam!" I yelled, hitting her with a rolled-up newspaper that conveniently happened to be lying on the island. "Bad Sam! Bad!"

"Ummmh! Za huhhhh!"

"Well, of course it hurt! You took a pancake that didn't belong to you!"

"I've got more coming!" said Spencer, now adorned in one of his flowery aprons.

"Thanks, Spence. You're a life saver!"

"I am so cool," Spencer said proudly, standing like a superhero, striking a heroic pose and obviously imagining a cape flowing behind him in the wind.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

A few minutes after I rightfully stole one of Carly's pancakes, there was a knock on the door. I ran to get it and saw Aura standing there in a pair of tight black jeans and a sleeveless tee. "Hey!" I said, kissing her. "Here so early?"

"Yeah. I thought we could go hang out, maybe catch a movie." She smiled at me, and I licked my lips thinking about how her scarlet-red ones tasted, loved the way she'd pulled her hair into a long, ass-length ponytail for me and had it slung over one lovely, slender shoulder. I'm just glad I was only throbbing instead of hardcore wet. She was smiling, and if I hadn't looked away right then Carly's apartment would've needed new upholstery due to flood damage.

"Yeah," I said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the apartment. "Sure. I haven't had breakfast, though."

"Sam!" said Carly, her head snapping up. "You just had three pancake tacos! How did you not just have breakfast?"

"That was just an appetizer," I argued, making one for Aura. "Unless you want something else?"

"No. I'm alright," said Aura, her eyes finding mine. She took a bite of hers and smiled, her eyes lighting up when she tasted it, but I think it was probably because I was there.

"Yeah…got a little…whipped cream on your face," I said, wiping some off her nose and moving in to kiss her.

"Aww! Aren't they so cute!" said Spencer, leaning his elbows on the island.

"Quiet, dweeb! Can't you see I'm trying to kiss her!" I shook my head, and Aura's lips met mine, completing a circuit that had my womanhood tingling.

We finished breakfast, and Aura invited Carly along. "I'd like to hang out with Sam's friends, too," she said, smiling genuinely. I could tell that she wasn't turned on, but she was checking Carly out a little bit, regardless.

"You're sure that's okay?" said Carly, finishing putting on a less attracting shade of lipstick that looked exactly the way her lips did without it. Damn, I just wanted to kiss her right there.

"Yeah," said Aura, hugging me from behind. "It'd be great."

"Well, if you're sure I won't be intruding…"

"Carls, you're my best friend! If Aura and I wanted to be alone and not let you two get to know each other, then we wouldn't be asking. Besides, aside from going to the Groovy Smoothie, I haven't hung out with you in a while."

Carly looked like she was going to cry, then she shook her head and said, "You know, you're right. I haven't been out of the house in a while. It's about dang time I got out there and did something, again!"

We made our way out of the apartment building and past Lewbert (who was cranky and weird as usual,) and found a cab that would take us to the theater, where we planned to see a premier. "I heard you went skydiving over the summer," said Carly, who was sitting opposite Aura. "I hope it wasn't like the situation that got us into Japan."

"Actually, it was pretty cool," replied Aura, smiling. "After our training exercises, my sister and I helped recreate the Battle of Normandy with a little paintball thing she'd set up."

"That's cool!" I said, leaning my head on Aura's shoulder. "Girl who can kick ass in hand-to-hand combat…wow. So my type."

"Yeah? What if they get shot during the first firefight?"

"So much the better!" I retorted. "That way, I can get vengeance for you!" Aura pecked me on the cheek, which gave me the impression that she liked what I'd said.

"Operation Overlord? God! That was a mess!"

"Sure," said Aura. "But it was to raise money for veterans. It wasn't covered by major media or anything, but it got some local attention."

"Hey," Carly said, suddenly perking up. "What if we were to do something for our vets? I mean, one of our friends' dads got hurt in Lebanon. And so did Spencer's friend. It wouldn't be super-elaborate or anything, but it'd be cool to see a few smiles."

"My sister would help with that," said Aura, nodding. "I'll see what she says when I get home."

We'd stepped out of the cab and Carly had paid the driver when Aura and Carly froze in there place. I didn't realize it until later, but they'd only been standing for a second that had frozen to seem like hours when I was struck by a Ford pickup. Somehow, they managed to escape untouched, but I was pinned under one of the wheels. I was in pain, and even though I could move anything above my torso, I couldn't tell whether my legs were still attached to my body.

I think that was answered when something dripped onto what I think was my leg and seared me. At the time I didn't really realize it hurt, but every time I think back on it, whatever burned me was almost like boiling acid falling onto me. Just that one drop feels like hell.

The smoke was choking me and my eyes were burning not from the heat or the smoke, but from the pain and tears. "Help!" I didn't know who it was, but it sounded like it was coming from my throat. It wasn't a scream, but a pitiful attempt at choking anything vocal out of me. "Help!" My mouth was moving.

Carly was the first one there. I didn't recognize her, but somehow I did. "Oh my God! Sam! Sam, are you okay? Sam!" She was worried, and I could tell that she was doing some serious crying. "Sam! Goddammit, just fucking say something!"

I looked up at her, but there wasn't any air in my lungs. It was then I noticed her face was covered in soot. "Sam!"

"I can't…feel…my legs…!" I'd finally managed to choke it out, but by the time I realized what was happening I'd lost consciousness completely.

I woke up in the hospital four days later, still breathing through a tube and sleeping in a gown.

Thankfully, Carly was there when I opened my eyes. Her hair was a neat little mess, matted with days of sweat and looking almost like a hood when she leaned over me. "Sam…you okay?"

I tried to nod, but I couldn't do anything.

"Sam, listen…the doctors don't want me to tell you anything, but I don't give a shit…" A tear slid down her cheek. I noticed it was still red and dirt-smeared. "Sam…you…" She couldn't get it out of her, and even though I could tell she was trying, she just wouldn't be able to tell me without completely freaking out. "Sam…the doctors have been telling us…" With one last sniff, she finally released what was left of her sanity. "…you'll never walk again!" She leaned over and hugged me, her tears falling on my head.

At her words my heart sank. Never walk again? I'll never be able to walk again? I couldn't believe it. I was stunned. My stomach was in my toes. "Carly…" I breathed, feeling like shit. "This…this is a dream, right?"

She shook her head. "No, Sam. It's not a dream. It's real." She wiped away more tears. "Sam…I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything."

Eventually, Carly left, and I was thinking when a nurse came in with some food and announced that I had a visitor. When she left, Aura walked in, looking worse than Carly had. "You alright, Sam?"

"Yeah," I said, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. Peachy. Can't move my fucking legs, still hurting with a damn numb feeling I'm getting with these painkillers…what could be better, right?"

Aura shook her head and closed the door, then locked it and settled into my bed next to me. She didn't touch me like I wanted her to. I knew she could sense my nipples tightening, and boy was my pussy starting to throb, but she didn't make her move. Instead, she said, "If you ever need anything…" She kissed me, and when her hand accidentally trailed my tits, I knew she felt my hard nipple.

"Kiss me. It hurts. Don't stop kissing me."

Aura did what I asked, then slowly began to remove the gown I was wearing. "You're sure you're alright with this?" She said, sucking my nipple. "You sure, baby?"

"Yeah, babe," I breathed, reaching down and running my hand across my clit. I'd been told earlier that the nerve damage was only extensive enough to prevent movement in my legs. Still, I had some sensation in my cunt. "Lick me here."

She looked down, and she must've seen the moisture that was leaking from me, because she immediately dove in and started licking my clit, driving two fingers into me. I moaned, savoring the most heavenly sensation I'd ever experienced.

Aura's tongue flicked back and forth across the sexual nerve center of my body, and I placed my hands on her head, physically telling her to keep going. I used one of my hands to pinch my nipple, letting it hurt so bad that my arousal multiplied a hundred-fold. "God, Aura. Deeper. Make me come." Aura did what I asked, and I choked out a scream. There it was. I'd climaxed and the cum was leaking from me. My cunt was still throbbing, but the horny pressure was wearing off. I looked down and saw Aura's face between my legs, her head resting just above my pussy.

She was crying, and falling asleep, I realized that I was doing the same.


	9. iLove You, Sam

_Carly Shay_

I'd been so hurt the past week that I pretty much had two choices…do iCarly myself or postpone. Sure, I didn't want to do either, but it was just such a hard thing that I'd gone through. Sam would never be able to walk again, and I didn't think I could've done it without her.

"There are two other options, Carly," said Freddie, sitting down next to me and muting the volume on _Hacked Up Memories VI: Dismember Me Forever_. I'd turned to that particular movie completely on accident, and I just couldn't take my eyes off of the screen. Despite the fact that the images were horrible, they were definitely not as horrific as seeing Sam's legs crushed under the tire of that damn Ford. "Option Three: We get someone else to cohost the show. I know it wouldn't be like having Sam on with you, but it would be better than not doing the show at all. Fans expect you to do something, even if you have to move on for a while."

"Yeah. Me and Neville, don't you think? How appropriate." My sarcasm was definitely not feeling as powerful as my tears.

"Option Four," said Freddie, ignoring my lame comment. "We run a special on iCarly about all the wonderful times you two have been through together. I mean, sure, she was a little scary, but she's my friend, too, Carls. C'mon."

I smiled at Freddie. "It's so hard…she'll never have the use of her legs, again. And even if by some miracle she does get them back…" I wiped my tears away with the last tissue in the three boxes I'd gone through since the accident, threw it out, and started wiping them away with my sleeve. "She just wouldn't be the same Sam."

"Yeah," said Freddie, pulling me into a friendly hug. "You know, I'll even miss her threats on my life while she's in the hospital."

I looked at him. "You couldn't seriously-?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I could. And I will."

I'd had enough TV for now, so I picked up the remote and turned the set off. "So, what'd you have in mind, Freddie?"

"I'VE GOT AN IDEA!" roared Spencer excitedly. He came into the living room, tugging behind him a sculpture he'd been laboring on for over half a week. Stopping behind the couch and puffing, he caught his breath. "You both know I've been working on this bad boy for five days!" he said, still breathing a little heavily. "Whew! My heart's racing. Well, I've finally finished it. Sure, it might not be Leonardo da Vinci, but it's still one of my greatest works." Spencer placed a hand on the canvas covering the sculpture and gave it an overenthusiastic tug, but somehow managed to remove it without having the thing topple…or catch fire.

My eyes widened as I laid eyes on a gigantic sculpture of Sam made entirely out of recycled and reused scraps of paper. I looked at the sculpture and just broke down. "You…really care about her…as much…as I do, Spencer!" I said, finally. "I mean…just look at the bacon in her hand!"

Spencer had somehow managed to fold, crumple, and trim the pile of old papers to look exactly like Sam holding a fistful of bacon strips. "How'd you…?" I was speechless. My best friend would be forever immortal in a sculpture of old scrap paper. "How'd you get all that paper?"

"Rob," answered Spencer simply. "Socko's buddy. I contracted him, and even though I offered to pay him, he said he'd do it for free. Strange thing is, he said I'd already paid him."

"How?"

"I dunno. But I haven't been able to find my wallet."

"Well, he's a big help, regardless," added Freddie, standing up and moving forward to admire the sculpture. "Spencer, I've got to say that this is probably the best sculpture you've ever made."

"Well, it's not complete…or the best sculpture if Sam hasn't seen it, yet."

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Freddie had stopped by earlier to drop off his laptop, which got Wifi just about anywhere a human being could stand. He said that he didn't want one of his friends to miss iCarly. Despite the fact that he seemed pretty nervous, I wasn't in the mood to threaten the little nub. I wasn't out of it on drugs, even though the morphine was still fairly strong in my system. But there's just something that disheartened me when I learned I'd never have the use of my legs.

Still, I couldn't miss iCarly. Even if it wouldn't necessarily cheer me up, it'd be good to see what my friends were up to.

I logged in just as the show started, watching how Carly walked across the floor of the studio, wheeling a wheelchair in front of her. From the look on her face, I got the feeling it wasn't comic relief. She was up to something, hopefully something that would, in her mind, make me feel better. "A few days ago, there was an accident that took place involving my friend, Sam Puckett, who permanently lost the use of her legs. She was pinned under a truck for nearly an hour. She's all right, but she needs the help of the iCarly fans to make her feel better. If you're an iCarly fan or sympathizer, we'd appreciate it if you could send her a get-well card, or some bacon. She'd probably prefer the bacon, but even just picking up a card from the store would really be a blessing to her."

The camera switched to a view of Freddie's face, which somehow no longer had that butt-like quality I used to find so appealing to joke about. "Sam, even though you torment me, you're my friend. I'm sorry about what happened, even if I wasn't there to stop it. I know there's no alleviating the loss you've suffered, but life goes on. And, yes, for your benefit I'll get my butt out of the camera." I didn't laugh like I normally would have. It didn't hold that appeal to me.

"You know how Spencer loves to make those sculptures, Sam," Carly went on. "Well, you mean a lot to him, and he's gone through a lot of trouble to show how much." Spencer came in and wheeled out a dolly that was otherwise covered in a tarp. He gently lowered the dolly onto the ground and moved it to a corner of the studio that was never really used. "Hey, Sam," he said, solemnly. Surprisingly, he wasn't wearing a tux. "You're Carly's best friend and it'll mean so much to her if you were happy. You're outgoing, even if you don't show it in your schoolwork…" _Got that right, Spence._ "…you're a great person…" _God, if only that were true._ "And Carly, Freddie and I just want to show how much we appreciate making our lives a little more sunny." _It's raining, now. Probably will for quite some time._ "Sam, this is dedicated to you." He moved back and yanked the tarp off his sculpture.

Even though to the untrained eye it would've looked like a heaping, misshapen pile of old papers, it was really a great rendition of the former-me holding a handful of bacon. Seeing this was just too much for me. I broke down right there, no longer being able to control my tears. I didn't have the strength to even lift my hands to my face, never mind whip the computer across the room. Instead, I lowered my head back onto the pillow and tried to catch a glimpse of the ceiling through the tears. _God, why couldn't you have taken my life instead of my legs? Why couldn't you have spared me this? Why? It's only one more little thing you'd have taken from me!_

I had no strength left in my body, not even the balls enough to kill myself. Sure, if I'd been motivated enough, I'd have crawled my way down to the lobby and asked for enough morphine to kill a bull elephant instantly, but I just couldn't even bring myself to open my mouth. It was something so inconceivable that I knew even if I had the ability to do it, I wouldn't have the willpower. Sure, I'd have wanted to, but I wouldn't be able to force myself to do it.

A sudden bustle interrupted my thoughts, and a nurse opened the door to the room wider to admit a girl a little older than me, maybe seventeen or eighteen, on a gurney. She was smiling, and as the lights came on I noticed she was smiling. When she saw me crying, fast as I tried to look away she smiled wider, sympathetic but not pitying.

The doctors and nurse transferred the girl to the bed and covered her in her bedclothes. "You sure you don't need anything to eat?" said one of the doctors.

"I'm fine. Thanks, Dr. Alvarez." The doctors nodded, walked off, and left the two of us alone. The girl looked over at me, and I noticed she had light-black skin. She had a pretty, wide smile and her teeth were perfectly white, even if a little bit off alignment. "Hi. I'm Sasha." She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. "You've been crying a while. I know, sorry if I've said something wrong, it's just…I've always been the sun-is-shining types." She turned over on her side, and I noticed that she didn't move her legs like most people would have. "Could I be a bit forward and ask what's wrong?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I was silent a minute when I suddenly burst out. The anger had been boiling inside me the better part of the day. "I lost the use of my FUCKING LEGS, THAT'S WHAT!" I was breathing heavily. This girl was really starting to piss me off. She'd only been here five seconds and she'd reminded me of everything I'd lost: My mobility, my freedom…my life. "I USED TO BE SOMEBODY before that goddamn Ford crushed my damn legs!"

Sasha didn't sop smiling. It faded a little, but it didn't go away completely. "Yeah. It happens to a lot of us." She rolled over and started doing what I knew was physical therapy. "My spinal cord was severed when I was five. You know how kids used to like climbing trees? Well, I was no exception. I guess I'd forgotten that the tree was supposed to be coming down that day for a new subdivision the state of Oregon was putting in. Anyway, it surprised me when the chainsaws started up, and before I could get down to a spot where anybody would see or hear me, the tree had already pinned me against the ground. The chainsaws only stopped when they finally started hauling the tree from the spot where they'd cut it down. I've been in a chair ever since." She looked over at me. "You learn to appreciate what losing your mobility does to you."

_Yeah, right._ "Listen, Sasha," I said, trying to control my temper. "I know you're a nice chick and everything, I just need some time to my own thoughts." _Or my own personal, permanent sleep._ "Shut your damn yap, okay!"

"Cool. If you need me, I'll be here."

Even though I'd said something to the contrary of what my mind was focusing on, I found myself wondering about this girl. She hadn't even broken her smile when I'd cussed at her. "So what're you in the hospital for?"

Sasha looked at me, then focused again on her PT. "Well, the doctors said they wanted to see if my body was up to a new gene therapy. They said no, I wasn't up to it, but then they tried seeing if I was okay for stem cells."

"Any such luck?"

She shook her head. "That's the only unfortunate thing about my life. The nerve and spinal damage is so old that after twelve-and-a-half years, they wouldn't be able to do much of anything except look for improvements, feeling in my legs. It might not happen, but I don't mind."

I nodded, closing out of Freddie's computer. "I'm Sam Puckett. From iCarly."

"iCarly?" said Sasha, starting with her other leg. "iCarly? Sounds familiar. Isn't that a webshow?" I nodded, and Sasha returned it. "I've heard of it, now you mention it. I've always been too active to sit around watching shows, but I'd like to take a break, one of these days."

"Active?"

"Yeah," the girl said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed with surprising speed and grace. "Being part of the Ryan family, you don't know what leisure is. They don't force us kids to do anything we don't want to do, but we Ryans have a sense of activity and adventure we just can't control. We're always out exploring and doing something." Sasha looked down at her legs, which despite the years of disuse were well-toned and lovely. Some might argue they were almost muscular. "I guess that's why I was lost in my own little world when I had that tree fall on top of me." She smiled, settling herself back into her bed and lying down.

"You know, if this creeps you out, I understand, but I've kind of been checking you out since you've gotten in here."

"I know," Sasha smiled. "May I ask if-?"

"I'm a lesbian," I replied, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm straight, but my best friend happens to be a lesbian." She sighed. "I mean, sure, she hits on me, but that's only because we're such good friends we understand each others' every action, almost like we have ESP."

I nodded. "Carly and I are like that. We've known each other for seven years."

"It's nice to have someone like that in your life."

I was allowed out of my room the next few days, so long as I was accompanied by a friend or the nurse.

On the day before I was due to go through final outpatient procedures, Carly, Freddie and Spencer stopped by, bringing their usual gift of meat. _Funny,_ I thought. _I recall having told them I lost my appetite for meat the first time they brought anything._

"Hey, Sam," said Freddie, smiling as I wheeled my way out of the room. "How're you doing?"

"Move it, Freddie." I glared at him, and he backed away. "Hey, Carls." I had been feeling bland since the accident. I don't know what was going on, but I knew it'd probably wear off in a few days, just like Carly and Spencer said the meat thing would.

"Hey," she said, casting around for a subject. "You okay?"

"Yep." I knew she'd see right through it, but she didn't say anything. I tossed a dollar fifty into the vending machine for a Peppi Cola and rolled my eyes as the machine gave me that "Selection Sold Out" baloney. "I saw my Mom yesterday." I picked up the cream soda I'd been forced to choose in place of the cola, but I drank it down, anyway.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"How'd she seem?"

"Been sober since the day of the accident. She's smelling sorta normal, now, and she's lost fifteen pounds."

Carly nodded, and I could tell she was pleased.

"Plus, she's paying my medical bills, which is surprising. She actually has a job, now."

"Selling pot?" said Spencer, knowing my family's reputation almost as well as Carly and I.

"No, mush-brain. She's selling clothing, now. Apparently, she works down at the mall, in that little store…what's it called?" I racked my brain for the name. "_Flashy Trashy_." I shook my head. "More than that, though. She's even had Frothy put down."

"What!" said Freddie, looking almost relieved.

"I'm not gonna say it again. I don't want to explain it to a numbskull."

"Well, if she's taken all these steps just to be almost normal and provide for her daughter," said Carly, finding a root beer and taking a swig from it. "What else is new?"

"Managed to down that hospital shit," I said, stopping next to a row of windows on an outer ring corridor of the hospital. I looked out over the rainy scene, taking in the city of Seattle. "It's so much more I'm gonna have to get used to."

Carly nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder as she stood next to me. "It is. But you know what? It'll be worth it." She sat her lovely little ass in my lap, and even though Spencer and Freddie were absorbed in some sort of argument over whether ice cream or cake was better, I didn't tune in to the detail. I couldn't. I saw her shorts ride up just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing anything but a lemon-yellow thong under them. She didn't seem to notice, but that didn't mean she hadn't. She was patting my shoulder, and when I looked up, I leaned in. At first she didn't notice what was happening, but when our lips had been together about thirty seconds, she opened her eyes and immediately she pulled away. "Sam…" she said, looking frazzled. "It wouldn't work, Sam. I'm straight, and you're my best friend." She looked at me. "Besides, you're seeing Aura."

My heart dropped into the floor at the sound of those words.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I looked out over the rainy Seattle day and sighed, a little bit wet. _Sam,_ I thought, hoping she might mentally receive my message. "_Sam, I'm so glad you kissed me."_

_Where did that thought come from?_

_"I dunno! You tell me!"_

_You're the one who was kissing her back!_

_"You're my unconscious! Somehow, somewhere, you know you liked the fact that your best friend, having two X-chromosomes, kissed you, who also happen to possess two X-chromosomes!"_

I spent the rest of the day battling it out with myself. Before I left, though, I visited the nearest bathroom in the hospital.


	10. iLiked Kissing Sam

_Carly Shay_

The moment I got to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and slid down with my back against it, wanting to pull my hair out by the roots. "Dammit, Sam!" I whispered to myself, choking on tears I knew were going to pour from my eyes whether I wanted them to or not. "Sam, why did you have to make it so hard on me?"

The thought of Sam's kiss turned me on, and it was only by that time I realized my shorts were really wet. _Shit!_ I wasn't prepared for this kind of emergency. Sure, I'd liked being kissed by my best friend, but even though I was aroused, I was straight…right? I mean, I was only seeking Sam's romantic attention because she'd been injured in an accident. That's what was what had happened when I'd thought I was into Freddie. Thing is, I'd gotten over him a while ago. I'd barely even remembered that he and I had shared a romantic moment. Two, actually. That time I'd let him fuck me…damn, his tool was big for what I'd thought it would have been.

Immediately, my thoughts drifted back to Sam. _Stop torturing me, dammit!_ I was so wet that if I hadn't known better, I would have sworn the ceiling had sprung a leak. _Breathe, Carly. Okay, you need to clean and dry your shorts before you flood the whole damn hospital. Next thing is to hang with Sam a little while, without fantasizing about how she tastes…where the hell did you come from! …then get the fuck out as soon as possible._

It was a family restroom, so I didn't have much trouble knowing no one was in there. Thank goodness for that. I removed my shorts and knew I'd be in trouble if Spencer noticed. He'd start asking questions I really didn't know how to answer. _Hey, Spence! I just found out I'm bi-curious!_ Wow, that would freak him out more than wet shorts.

With much relief on my part, I always carried a spare pair of panties with me when I'm about due for my period. Sure, they're generally thongs, but they work just as well as any type of underwear at covering certain parts perverts in public don't need to see…particularly on a fifteen-year-old girl. I looked in the mirror and immediately felt like shit. My hair was already, somehow matted with sweat, and my makeup was running down my face like something I'd seen in a Picasso. I sniffed, took out a pair of panties when I was struck with a vision of Sam, paralyzed but needing my hand and mouth, her legs splayed and pussy dripping wet.

I knew what I was doing, but I slid down and let my ass touch the floor, placed my hand gently between my legs, and my fingers started making passes by my clit, moving in tighter and tighter until I was almost yelping. I thought about gagging myself, but by then I was automatically grinding myself with three fingers. Sure, in my dreams I'd had a cardinal rule never to masturbate, but these weren't my dreams. This was real…fucking…life.

I was now, somehow getting my entire fist in my hole, massaging my clit with my other thumb and fantasizing about sucking Sam's nipples, licking and sucking her clit. "Kiss me, Carls," she said to me. "Kiss me."

Before I knew it, I'd cum. I continued until I'd had four or five orgasms, by which time my arms had tired of the routine. I looked down at the floor and was surprised to see that my orgasms hadn't left much behind.

Standing and looking in the mirror, I saw that I'd somehow managed to take off my shirt and bra. _Dammit, that is just so weird how that happened._ I washed my hands, then put on my clothes and reapplied my makeup.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Sasha Ryan's friendship was one of the few things that kept me going. Some days we'd play cards or swap stories about life. I was surprised to find out that she'd been in the Special Olympics since she was fourteen, even though she'd never won anything. "I compete just to show people I can do anything I set my mind to," she told me. "In my mind, I'm not walking…I'm running."

I'd heard that bullshit before, but even though I didn't believe a single word of it, she kept me entertained and gave me something to do with my spare time. Sure, I wasn't working out much, but I was avoiding all the meat I'd used to eat. Hell, I'd barely eaten much meat since the accident, which I thought about just often enough.

Carly came back a while after she left the bathroom. She found me talking to Sasha, who greeted her with an enthusiastic smile. "Hey! Carly Shay, right?"

"Yeah."

"Sasha Ryan. Paraplegic and still walking." She smiled, and Carly laughed at Sasha's sense of confidence.

"Yeah. Sam's told me about you. You're the girl that fell out of the tree, right?"

"Had it land on top of me, actually," replied Sasha, wheeling up next to my bed. "My parents were considering suing the state, but they realized it was a combination of the faults of a lot of people and my parents got me enough for PT and hospital." She was smiling at Carly, who pulled up a chair and sat down. "So, how're you?"

"Still a little pissed," said Carly, being a bit more forward than usual. "But, I'm getting along, okay."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Sam's a great girl." She slapped me on the shoulder. I was feeling in a better mood, but I still wasn't quite up to the task of returning gratitude or anything. "She's lucky to have a friend like you."

"Yeah," I said, smiling halfheartedly. It wasn't that I was angry at Carly. How could I be? "Yeah. I am."

"Uh, Sam," said Carly, suddenly serious. "I'd like to talk to you, if you don't mind."

"Sure. What's up?"

"About…about the kiss…I'm grateful for it and all. You know I am. But…I dunno. With all that's going on, there's just so much I can't figure out that I need some time to think on it. I'm straight." I could tell something was up, but I wasn't feeling strong enough to point it out. "And I love you, Sam. I just…not that way. I don't love you that way. I'm sorry about having to tell you that, but I just couldn't love you anymore than I already do. And even if I could, I couldn't bring myself to love you romantically."

I gulped. "It's okay, Carls," I said. "I understand. I'm just…" I sighed and stared at the ceiling. "…There's just so much going on. I've still got mandatory PT three times a week, even after I get out of the dang hospital. Even then…well, do you know how much it hurts…mentally and socially?" Carly shook her head. "Losing your legs makes you think, y'know? You have too much time for thinking. Losing your legs…you don't think it can happen to you. Then you get out of a cab, and your life's changed forever. There's nothing you can do about it, no matter how much you want."

There were tears in Carly's eyes, and she hugged me. As hard as it was, I couldn't bring myself to cry, no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me…take off her bra and suck on her nipples…I wanted to put my head between her smooth, lightly-tanned legs and just lick her, taste her. I wanted to put my fingers in her and ravage her, make her want me.

But I knew it was too good to be true. As if to clarify the point, a nurse walked in and announced, "Half hour until visitors have to leave."

That put an end to my throbbing womanhood. Thankfully, Carly hadn't seemed to notice.

"Sam…you'll be my friend whether I'm straight or gay, bisexual or…or…"

"Transgendered?"

Carly nodded. "Yeah. Even if I'm transgender."

* * *

_Freddie Benson_

The moment we got back to the Bushwell apartment building, Spencer got a phone call from his latest girlfriend. "Yes? You want me to meet you…? Sure! Sure, I'll be right down!" He hung up and turned to me and Carly. "Okay, you guys, there's leftover spaghetti in the fridge, and you know I have plenty of taco shells around! You're welcome to have anything you need! I'll probably be gone a few hours. Alright?"

I nodded, and Carly barely even blinked unless it was to her shoes. "Carls," said Spencer, "Carls, Sam's gonna be okay. She's a strong girl."

He kissed her on the crown of her head and rubbed her back. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

She nodded, and Spencer backed out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

Carly turned to me after a few minutes and said, "I'm just…" I don't know if she did it out of impulse, but she secured all of the locks on the door, then went to the elevator, disabled it, and came over to me, kissing me full on the mouth. I also don't know whether I did it out of instinct, but something, some roaring, snarling, fire-breathing beast inside me told me to kiss her back. It wasn't just a kiss, though. It was something I did more impulsively than I would've imagined, but more instinctively, as well. My hands were pulling her into me, pulling her hips into me, letting one of her legs come up and secure itself to my hip.

I knew what I was doing, and I didn't know why, but I set her gently on the coffee table and lie there on top of her, kissing her, letting my tongue burrow into a place I'd never imagined I would have seen again.

My fingers were running through her hair, and for some reason I let her unzip my pants and pull them down to my ankles. It seemed like the right thing to do. What's more, I undid her shirt and parted it, then unhooked her bra and beheld small, lovely breasts that had rounded out a bit in two years. I took one in each hand, kneading and letting my mouth meet an erect nipple. Sucking on it, I simultaneously brought down her shorts and underwear in one motion and found that she had already exposed my dick. I pulled back for a breath, feeling her heat on my penis.

She nodded, and I guided myself into her, hearing a yip escape her lips, a grunt deep in my throat. I thrust a few times, one hand on her waist, another on her midriff by her navel. She moaned, and I found myself instinctively circling her clit with my forefinger, felt myself cumming. When I'd finally let up, I pulled out and was surprised at how swiftly she got to her knees and put her mouth on me, a fist at the base touching my scrot, the other hand cupping my balls and squeezing them almost hard enough I thought they'd burst before I released my load.

I put my hand on the back of her head and came. It lasted a lot longer than I had originally thought. By the time she'd taken me out of her mouth, I was still shooting. She didn't seem to care, though. She looked up at me through the cum and stood. She hugged me, no longer seeming to notice there was ejaculate on her face. Instead, she whispered in my ear, "It's still not like kissing Sam."


	11. iAm Curious

_Sam Puckett_

I wheeled myself out the sliding hospital doors the next day, the sun occasionally getting up enough courage to come out from behind the clouds, but never staying out for long. Carly was there, waiting for me, alongside Aura, Freddie and Spencer, waving at me from a bench a few yards from the nearest tree. Aura ran up to me and kissed me sweetly, only releasing me after I knew she was certain I'd orgasmed. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Aura," I said, taking her hand and kissing it, then running it along my cheek. "I haven't had anything decent to eat in ages. I'm starving."

"Got you a sandwich," said Carly, coming over and holding up a sub. "I'm not sure why you don't like meat that much anymore, so I made sure there was less on it."

"Thanks, Carls," I said, looking into her eyes. She was smiling, and there was something there I just couldn't register. Maybe it was excitement from the previous days' kiss. Perhaps it was pity for me because I'd lost my legs. Whatever it was, there was definitely something about her that had changed. Feeling like there was some sort of gap I had to fill, I looked down at the sandwich, peeled back the paper, and took a bite, hoping to appease that monster called hunger. "Hey!" I said through a mouthful of turkey smothered in mayonnaise. "That's pretty good!" I swallowed the bite. Looking at Freddie, I smiled. "Hey, Nub! Get behind me and push the chair! And while you're at it, try to stop mooning people in public."

"…Sam…" he said, moving to wheel me down the street.

"Did I say I wanted to hear your butt make a noise?"

Carly and Spencer laughed, and I even saw Aura crack a smile.

While I ate my sandwich, I sat contemplating a lot of things. At one point, the sun revealed itself from behind a cloud, and I saw a tall, muscular girl riding by on a skateboard, her legs toned and muscular, a nice, light-brown tan on them. For some reason, I wasn't hungry anymore. Usually, I would've finished the sandwich by the time we'd rounded the corner, but I just wasn't feeling like there was anything I particularly needed that moment.

I wrapped the paper around my food and set it in my lap, leaning back in my chair and taking Aura's hand in mine. She looked down and smiled at me as I did so. "I'm glad to be with you," I said, trying to hide the sadness I knew might enter my voice at any time. "Things would be so much more messed up without you."

"I'm glad you feel that way," replied Aura, her hand caressing my cheek. "We were worried for you."

My heart sank. The last thing I wanted to talk about was the loss of those useless limbs now hanging off my body. I was a vegetable from the waist down. "Did you hear the good news?" asked Carly, hugging her brother.

"What good news?" I said.

"Well, I've been seeing Olivette for a little more than a year, now, and I asked her to marry me yesterday!"

I was happy for Spencer, but I wasn't sure I could manufacture the emotion. Still, I had to give it a shot. "Congrats, Spence! I'm glad for you!"

"Thank you!" he said, patting me on the head. "She's coming over for dinner tonight, and if you'd like, I would appreciate it if you'd be there."

I smiled, loving Spencer but not feeling into it. "Tonight? Sure. I'd like it if Aura and I stopped by my place for a while, if that's alright."

"Be at our place by seven!" said Spencer, hugging Carly.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I'd been sleeping with Freddie the past few days, and even though I was sure I loved him, I didn't know in what way. More than that, though, we both knew, had discussed and agreed that I hadn't told him I'd kissed Sam. When I first mentioned it to him, he shook his head and said he hadn't heard it. Even more than that, though, he assured me it'd all been in my mind. _So it was only a voice in my head,_ I'd thought when we talked it out.

The muscular boy in front of me in my bed had been shaping up for a few weeks, and I knew it was his gym class. He was toned and muscular, and now I know why his body seemed to fit his cock so perfectly. Thankfully, I was horny enough to do just about anything he wanted. Then again, he didn't demand much when we fucked. He didn't just lie there, and he was so knowledgeable that it was hard to resist the way he licked me.

I tore my skirt away and put my mouth on Freddie's cock, listening to him groan as Buckcherry's _Crazy Bitch_ played on my pearPod Home. Even though I wasn't as fond of giving a blowjob as I was of just guiding it into me and letting Freddie do the rest, I still enjoyed it, and on occasion, when he was bored, he'd just take his dick out and let me give him a handjob.

For some reason, whenever we had sex, I couldn't stop imagining Sam lying there, letting me eat her out. I'm sure she was tasty, maybe having a little sandy bush above her cunt, which I envisioned as soft and wet. Then our eyes would meet, and she'd take me into her embrace and put her fingers in me, letting me ride her until the sun went down and rose again.

But every time I opened my eyes, Freddie was there, groaning and running his fingers through my hair as my head bobbed, trying to make him cum. When I finally did, I'd crawl on top of him, smile, and kiss him for awhile, letting his sweaty hands touch me, especially on the back of my thighs. I'd moan and let him roll on top of me, let him suck my nipples as they hardened to points. Then I'd put my hand on my clit as he started thrusting into me, and I'd tease one of my nipples, pinching it so hard I was screaming from my orgasm and the pain mingling with the pleasure of it. Sometimes, we'd fuck two or three times in a row, then he'd get dressed, and I'd let him lick me a little.

This time, though, I was impressed that he seemed to know so much about how I worked. I decided it was about time I asked. "Freddie?"

"Hm?" He lay next to me, his arm under my shoulder. He kissed me, and I tasted his lips, which were so soft and so sweet.

"If you don't mind me asking…where…um…where'd you learn all those…positions?" I groped him and played with his scrot, which was beginning to gain its after-sex firmness. "I mean…I was just wondering, since we're only fifteen, and we were only screwing around the first time we did it."

He kissed me, then brushed his lips against one of my nipples, planted a kiss between my breasts, and answered. "Well, somehow my Mom still hasn't figured out I carry a flashdrive and the real harddrive to the computer with porn on it." He smiled slyly. "That, and I carry around a copy of _Smut_ magazine."

My eyes lit up with surprise. "Since when?"

"Since we got the most recent equipment for iCarly, when we made the transition to season three." He smiled and put his hand between my legs, getting a little moan from me, then tracing slow, delicate circles around my clit.

"Ooh, Freddie. You're such a beast," I whispered, letting his lips meet mine. "Just fuck me one more time?"

"Sure, Carls," he said, sliding three fingers in. I whimpered, letting Freddie grind me. The heat was growing down there, and I grabbed his dick, which was again stiff. I felt him throb, and I took him in my fist, tugging at him, getting a groan.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Aura was on top of me in my bed, her pussy in my mouth and the other way around. She had such a smooth hairless cunt I was surprised. And…well she was experienced for a virgin. But she'd filled in the gaps when she'd shown me a copy of _Smut she carried around in her pocket, also giving me a glimpse of a double-ended marital aid she'd bought for us._

Damn, she tasted good. I had my hands on her ass cheeks and while I licked her, exploring the depths of that pussy that was so damn inviting and hot I was occasionally surprised when she started sucking hard on my clit. We'd both orgasmed four times so far, and as I traced a circle around her clit and spread her lips to get deeper into her we came a fifth time. "Sam!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, rolling off me and putting her mouth on mine, now putting two fingers in me. "Sam, you dirty, dirty girl!" She kissed me, pinching my nipples so hard with her other hand that I put my arms around her waist when the pain started hitting me and making me, if possible, wetter. "God, that was so good!" she whispered.

"I enjoyed it, too," I said, nibbling the tips of her ears and feeling the pentagram-shaped earrings caressing my neck. "God, Aura! You're sooo good!"

"Marital aid?" she asked, pulling out of me, licking those fingers, and bringing out the toy. She had a sexy-seductive smile on her beautiful face that was absolutely impossible to say no to.

"Yes!" I groaned, one hand on my tits, the other parting the folds that marked my entrance. "Yes! Put it in me!"

Aura inserted one end into her ass and obliged, sliding it gently, slowly into me as I let out a low-pitched moan. "Ahhh! Aura! Ooh, Aura!" She let the toy stay there a while, then riding it, letting it massage our insides and make us feel so good. As she worked, I look down and saw her teasing her nipples, then brought my hand down to my clit, which was throbbing so much I thought my pussy would go off and send her flying across the room like a bullet. It was only a few seconds before I reached my sixth orgasm of the little session we were having.

I'd finally got dressed when Aura walked up to me and kissed me tenderly. "I enjoyed our time, Sam!" she said, lifting up her miniskirt, which was impossible to beat when it came to lack of length, giving me a glimpse of a thong. For my benefit, she put her had down the underwear and masturbated, letting out a long series of moans before she was once again wet. "I had a great time, hun!" she said, letting me smack her shapely ass. She giggled when I did so. "See you at school on Monday?"

"Definitely," I said, feeling a small bit of wetness spreading on my own pants. "See you around, Aura."

"See you too, sweetie!" Her hips swayed and she bent over and blew a kiss as she shut the door to the apartment.


	12. iFeel Like Singing

_Carly Shay_

Lately I'd been feeling like singing. There was no way for me to describe this unshakable urge to sing, so I walked down to the nearest café that hosted karaoke. Sure, it wasn't much, but lately the joint was frequented by Hollywood-name celebrities. I'd never seen them, to be honest, but to me, life wasn't about celebrity. It was about doing what you could when you could.

That particular day, I decided to bring Sam along, since she was willing to hear my voice. Not only that, she and Aura wanted to hang out with me. Aura agreed to go, and I was glad for the two of them, even though I'd originally thought Sam might disagree. After all, that's how she'd lost her legs in the first place. I didn't have the heart to mention it, and I knew that look in her eyes. She'd lost something that was so important to her that she thought she'd never be remotely normal again.

When we first entered the café, we didn't see anyone worth mentioning. The place was packed, and I couldn't have seen the face of the person in front of me even if I'd wanted to.

Getting to the stage and looking out at the audience after I'd selected a song, I noticed a familiar face. At first, I couldn't decide who the person looked like, but when I craned my neck, I realized it was Ashley Tisdale. My heart thudded to a halt in my chest for the briefest moment. _Oh my god, it's Ashley Tisdale!_ I couldn't breathe. Then, when the music started, I felt my breathing resume, and I started.

"_You've got the hottest shoes, you've got it! You've got those Jimmy Chus, you've got it! You never get the blues! It's always about you!"_ I poured my heart into that song, and even though I'd been nervous about Ashley Tisdale being in the same room at first, I forgot there was anyone there. Not even halfway through the chorus, I was sweating so bad I knew that when I got home I'd have to reapply deodorant. Despite this fact, I was entirely concentrated on the song. My main focus was on pouring my heart and soul into the words I was forming on my mouth.

Finally I finished, opening my eyes and hearing the audience wanting more, screaming and waving their arms. I smiled, muttered an excited, breathless thank you, and stepped off the stage, setting the microphone down. I went up, ordered a drink, and was about to take out my purse when I heard a voice behind me. "I'll pay." I turned around and choked on my own breath, seeing Ashley Tisdale herself. "You've got a great voice. What's your name?"

"C - Carly Shay."

"I just got back from vacation and I was planning on getting some rest in a local five-star but decided to stop here first. Probably lucky I did. I want to make an offer."

"Really!" I said, almost spilling the drink I'd ordered as it was being handed to me.

"Yeah," she said, smiling and downing her espresso shot. "In three days, I've got a show opening in downtown L.A. I don't have an opening act booked, and I was thinking about Clique Girlz, but I realized that you'd make a good impression on opening."

"R - really?" Motor function seemed impossible. "Really? You can't be…you're serious?"

"Yep."

Entirely meant for myself, I said, "Tell me this is a dream."

"This is not a dream," said Ashley, holding out her hand and shaking it. "I can have you and your family on a plane within the next few hours." She smiled. "I'm serious. The crowd's going to love you."

"Thanks!" I said, picking up my phone. "I've just got to call my brother, Spencer. See what he says." Within seconds of hearing the phone ring, Spencer picked up. "Ohmygod! Spencer, I'm going to Hollywood to open for an Ashley Tisdale concert!"

"This isn't Spencer," said a voice on the other end I knew to be Olivette's. "He's right here, if you want to talk to him." I heard Spencer on the other end. It sounded like he was kissing Olivette. "Here he is."

"Hey, Carls!" he said, grunting a little. "What's going on?"

"Spencer…what're you doing?"

"Mm…oh, nothing, Carls. Just…uh…"

"Well, regardless of what you're doing, and we're going to have a discussion later about turning off your phone in case it happens again…" I could barely hold it in. "I'm going to open for Ashley Tisdale!"

"What!" Spencer screamed at the top of his lungs. "You're opening for a concert for who!"

"Ashley Tisdale!"

"Oh my God!" Spencer was still screaming at the top of his lungs. "How…I know you've been going to that coffee shop lately, but…are you sure…?"

"Three days from now in downtown L.A.!"

"Carly…Carly, this is…Oh my God!" I heard jingling over the phone, and my heart sank as it really dawned on me what he'd been doing when I'd called him. "When do we leave?"

"Just a sec!" To Ashley, I excitedly asked, "When do we leave?"

"As soon as you can get enough stuff packed for three days or so. I'll cover everything."

"Soon," I said to Spencer. "As soon as we can. Don't forget to pack…never mind. I'll be over there in a few minutes to get my stuff."

"See you back here, Carly!"

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

When I wheeled myself over to where Carly was standing next to Ashley Tisdale, jumping up and down and hugging her, just like the maniac she could be sometimes, I knew something was exciting her. She saw me and rushed over, hugging me and nearly dumping me out of my chair. "I'm opening for Ashley Tisdale!" she screamed in my ear.

"What!" I said, surprised. "Carls, that's great!"

"You and Freddie are coming, too!" Carly turned to Aura. "You too, if you want."

Aura smiled, but shook her head. "No offense, Ashley, but your music isn't exactly my thing." She smiled. Looking down at me, she said, "You could go, though, if you want. Every couple has to have their alone time."

Ashley smiled sympathetically. "That's sweet. I respect that you don't like my music as much as other people's. Everyone has their own tastes, right?"

"No, Aura. You can come along, really. We won't be spending every second together. Besides, you don't even have to come for the music. Just holding my hand would be enough." I could tell Aura was torn. I knew she was thinking, _Do I risk not only Sam's and my relationship, but her friendship with Carly, too, or do I let them have their friend time with each other?_

Aura hesitated before answering. "No, Sam. Really. You go. I want you and Carly to have a good time."

I was a bit disappointed, but I knew Aura was right. "Thanks, Aura. You mean so much."

"You do, too." Aura bent down and kissed me, that singular scarlet streak in her hair brushing my face as her lips touched mine. "I'll see you off, okay Sam?"

"You got it, Babe."

Carly, Aura, Ashley and I climbed into the waiting limo, which took us to the Bushwell building. Aura wheeled me in, and Carly was walking next to me, with Ashley on my other side. The elevator opened and the four of us climbed on, taking it up until we reached Carly's floor.

Pretty soon, we could hear Spencer running around behind the door, obviously getting prepared to leave for L.A. Carly opened the door to the apartment and caught Spencer in the middle of packing half a turkey sandwich, his fly down and belt undone. He tried choking down a bite of the sandwich but failed. "Hurro!" He held out the sandwich. "Turkey?"

"I'll pass," said Ashley, holding her position at the door.

"Guys! I heard a lot of noise in here and I thought the place was being robbed holy shit!" Freddie came in, slumping down the door frame at the sight of Ashley. "Ashley…Ashley…Tisdale!"

"In the flesh."

Freddie looked around. "Why…?"

"Carly's opening for Ashley in three days, and she wants us all to be there," said Aura, hugging Carly.

"No…!"

"Yep," said Carly. "I still can't believe it, myself."

* * *

_Spencer Shay_

I was surprised no one had said anything about my fly or belt buckle. It wasn't as surprising…or as embarrassing…as meeting Ashley Tisdale. Not to mention the fact that Carly was opening at one of her concerts.

We were on the plane before long, and the entire time I was flabbergasted that I'd actually met Ashley Tisdale. To be truthful, I was conked out most of the flight, because I'd received a bit of a shock.

When I woke up, we'd just landed on the tarmac at LAX, and the jolt had me thinking the Germans had started firing flak at us. "Take us up to five thousand feet! Flak's got us!" I looked around, realizing I was no longer piloting a B-25. "Sorry! Little dizzy here from the sleep!"

It wasn't long after three in the morning, Pacific Time. "Aww! I missed out on the champagne!"

"Plenty of that where we're headed," said Ashley, knowingly. She smiled. "Jerry wake you up?"

"No, I was talking to my copilot when the flak started."

"Who's your copilot?"

"Olly the Ostrich." I was disappointed.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Finally, it was the day of the show. Three days had passed to quickly, and I was disappointed this one wasn't going to last forever. Truth was, though, it was the longest of those three days. Sure, I was well-known on the internet, and even had some connections on TV and in the world of sports, as well, but I wasn't used to all the high pressure of the music biz. Everywhere I went, I had a small entourage of fans that repeatedly asked me for my autograph. One guy even pulled down his pants and asked me to use his tattoo gun, which he'd enthusiastically provided, to tattoo his ass.

I respectfully declined, and even though he seemed to understand, I could tell he was a little disappointed.

"Hey, Carls!" said Sam on that third day. "You ready?"

"I dunno," I said, deciding which outfit to wear and giving up, instead sitting down to the breakfast that had been provided by room service. I picked up a piece of toast, took a bite, and swallowed, then set it down. I couldn't eat. All this publicity was making me nauseous. "Sam, I don't know if I can go through with this."

"There's nothin' to it," replied Sam, wheeling me over and slapping me on the back. "Show up, sing a few lines, and take a fucking bow! That's all you need to do!"

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

When Carly left to go talk to Spencer, I was kinda bummed. Not bummed, really. I was still getting used to not having legs. There just wasn't anything I could do about what I'd lost. The past couple of days, I'd been blogging about my feelings. Sure, I'd remained anonymous, but I didn't know what I should do. I didn't know if I should hang in the towel or what.

Strangely, there'd only been answers that sounded so dang Emo from my readers. More than that, though, my heart sank a little more with every day. Sure, I was physically stronger, but I didn't know why. I just thought it was something I'd never get over.

I decided to wheel myself around town, seeing what I could see. I knew there wasn't exactly a lot of stuff that my arms could carry me to without going some distance, but I wanted to try and delight my heart. And after rolling out the door, it was apparent that I'd have a lot to do. Sure, it was a sunny day, but there weren't as many people around as I thought there'd be. Once I passed the park at the end of the street, though, things were a lot different.

There were couples kissing left and right. Straight, gay, bikini, spandex, skater, a mix of a lot of them. I tried to avoid the park, but they were everywhere. The world just wouldn't give up. I passed another couple that was walking in the opposite direction. There was a girl playing her guitar and singing about the girl she'd lost. She was a bit bigger-boned, but she wasn't fat. She was tall, cute, and she had shoulder-length wavy hair that was black as her eyes. She looked up at me and smiled. A passing stranger tossed a dollar into her open guitar case and moved on.

She was friendly, but I couldn't stand to be in the same city as her, let alone the same block. Still, I couldn't help but grudgingly toss in my last quarter. "Thank you," she said, cheerfully.

I wheeled around…literally…to face her. "For what?"

"Well, forgive me," she said, smiling as she propped her guitar up next to her. "I couldn't help but notice you help strangers, even when you look so pissed."

I shrugged, deciding to BS my way through it. "I'm not pissed. Don't have a reason to be."

"Sorry. I just…" she stopped, her beautiful, natural alto voice ripping my heart out but refusing the organ to leave its anchors to my body behind. "We all have something to be pissed about. It's something that makes us all human."

I was really starting to get mad. "Yeah? Just whose business do you think it is to tell what's human?" I felt myself snarling.

"It's no ones. But I can't even stand the sight of a heartbroken stranger. Whatever it is that makes you look that way must be something worth talking about."

I shook my head, really ready to pounce. Oh, if only I'd had my legs…at this thought, I lowered my head. "You really just don't get it, do you?" I said to the world, but addressing her. "Just because I look pissed does not mean I'm pissed. Maybe that's just my way of thinking, right? Maybe I just have this look that makes me seem like I'm ready to kick your smug little ass! Maybe losing my legs didn't exactly help, but maybe it didn't do much, either way! You ever think of that? Did that ever cross your serious lack of gray matter?"

The girl just sat there, smiling sadly and knowingly.

"What the fuck are you looking at, bitch-ass freak?"

"A girl who's giving up too early."

I was ready to leap at her, but restrained myself by my lack of legs. "Who the hell says I'm giving up? I never said I was giving up! It's just you and your stupid fucking psychological tricks that says that! You don't know anything about Sam Puckett!" I wheeled away, cussing my head off. "Jesus fucking Christ! I can't fucking believe…bitch thinks I'm giving up! Look in the mirror, though, bitch! Sitting on the fucking street, waiting a goddamn hour for someone to toss in a penny…man, if I could fucking take that quarter back…smug little cunt! Doesn't know what the hell she's talking about…"

* * *

_Carly Shay_

It was only an hour before the show, and I was in the studio near the stage in the middle of the street getting my makeup on. Sam wheeled in just then. "Got your text, Carls," she said, sounding like she'd been crying.

"Where'd you go?" I said, looking in the mirror. "You left without saying a word!"

Sam shook her head. "Just decided to…you know. Thought I'd…" She didn't break down, but it didn't sound like she'd cried her last tear. A guy with a headset on came in at that moment and said, "Shay, mike check, five minutes."

"Be right there." I walked over to Sam, who sat, despondent, her head hanging. "Sam…Sam, what's going on?"

"Carls…when…when I lost my legs, I didn't know what to think of it. And…the more I thought about it…well, these past few weeks, I've…" Sam lifted her sleeves to reveal thin red marks. "The first one was a suicide attempt. It didn't go deep enough, but it relieved some of the stress…"

My heart was torn. My best friend, attempt suicide? "After that, I just…every time I was alone…"

"Sam…Sam, I love you so much!" I said, bending down and hugging her. "Why…how could you do that?"

"I dunno, Carls," she said. The guy with the headset came in and motioned to me. "One moment."

"Listen, Sam…we'll talk about this after the concert, and…"

I don't know how Sam managed it, but suddenly I had to support her entire weight as she wrapped her arms around me, her useless legs dangling, and she was kissing me passionately on the mouth. It was wet, and we were both crying, but for some reason, it was the best kiss I'd ever received. Sure, I'd kissed her once or twice in a dream, but…. This was pure heaven...this was real.

As she settled back into her chair, she looked up to me, tears staining her eyes and a smile on her face. "Go kick some ass, Shay!"

I walked away, blushing and smiling. _I REALLY feel like singing!_


	13. iCome Out Of The ClosetAgain?

_Carly Shay_

I couldn't believe it. There was only ten minutes before the show, and I'd be opening it. I could barely walk. I could barely talk. Eating was not an option, and swallowing my water was impossible.

Ashley sat down next to me. "It was the same way before my first show," she told me. I tried to block out the thousands of screaming fans, but it was impossible. "I was nervous. I was scared. But somehow I made it. You will, too."

"Thanks, Ashley." I smiled at her. Man, if I wasn't straight, I'd be just about ready to fondle those rounded, firm looking…

"Shay? One last mike check. Now."

"Coming." I gave an apologetic look to Ashley, who nodded. "See you on the other side." Walking out, I picked up the microphone I was given and smiled, giving my girly little giggle. "Hey! Good afternoon, Los Angeles!" The crowd cheered. I knew some of them recognized me from iCarly, and I could definitely tell those fans from everyone else. I was given the thumbs-up from the sound guy, who was invisible to everybody in the audience. "You guys ready to rock!" The crowd cheered deafeningly, and since I'd never written a song in my life, I had chosen one with the wise help of Ashley.

The drummer gave a beat, and when the music hit a temporary crescendo, I started in with the lyrics. _"Ready for the big time, ready for the small! Whatever's comin' to me, I'll be ready for it all! Sometimes it ain't easy, sometimes it's not polite, some days I don't get it, some days I get it right! It's in my heart, it's in my head, that's what I said! Hey, boys, are you ready for the shock! I'm livin' proof, the girl can rock! Spread the news around every single block! Hey boys, the girl can rock!"_ I was living a fantasy for one infinitesimal moment. It was a miracle. I couldn't help but move around the stage and feel energetic and alive. _"Don't say maybe or call me baby! I ain't crazy…at all!"_ I bent down and allowed some of the fans to know that I was real, to feel the sweat on my palms and have that alone say, "Yes, I'm really here." _"Yeah, rock!"_

When I'd finished, I was breathing hard and sweating more than I'd ever known the human body could take. I felt a presence next to me, and I turned to see Ashley Tisdale. "Hollywood, give it up for Ashley Tisdale!" I put my hands together and set the mike down, then walked off the stage. My mind flashed to the image of Sam, who had been sitting in the second row and smiling up at me, watching my every move. _What'd she think of me?_ I wondered.

"Carls!" said a voice I loved to hear. I turned and she was there…right there in front of me. She was grinning from ear to ear, wheeling herself in. "Carls, that was amazing! You are such a good singer! I didn't know you had such a voice!"

"Thanks, Sam!" I said, picking up a bottle of water. I tried not to gulp it down, but it was too damn hard. "Man…what a crowd!"

"I know! Tell me about it! Sure, they were all conscious I was in a chair, but…" Sam's voice faltered, and she turned to leave.

"Sam! Sam! No, wait…!" She turned to me, smiling sadly. "Sam…what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. It's not…" She took a breath and tried again. "I know I did wrong when I tried to hurt myself. I'm not proud of making myself look like a damn salami."

"Tell me about it," I said, sitting in her lap. I did it unconsciously, and when I realized where I was I looked away, trying not to do so too quickly or look like I'd just committed myself to what came naturally. Besides, I'd never sat in her lap while I was trying to comfort her before…at least, not when it was something this personal. And when it was this personal…did anyone really sit in their friend's lap?

I put her head in my arms, and she leaned in, her eyes leaking. I don't think she noticed the tears. "I just…when I was pinned under the truck…there was something…I've always known there was something, Carly. Something I've always wanted to know…I was…never…I never had the balls to tell you, Carly. I've never…I've just never been so afraid in my life. Every time I think about it, my legs hurt like hell."

"What happened?" I said to her. "Why…" I didn't know how to phrase the question. I knew there was so much she wanted to tell me, but I was afraid she might be bottlenecking these emotions. "Is there something I've never known? Is there something no one's ever known?"

She nodded, sounding more like an infant with each sniffle. Luckily, there was some Kleenex right there, so I handed her the box and she took it but it idled there in her hand. "This was a long…long…time before I'd…met you. It was my fourth…birthday. I remember because there were four candles on the cake. My…my Dad wanted to surprise me…he'd bought me something special for my birthday, he said. He told me it was at the store. When he was coming back, I remember waiting at the front door…for him…to get back with my…with my surprise…he was waving at me from across the street. When he was about…half…way…halfway across…" She stopped, and the floodgates didn't hold. I was crying, too. It was so emotional I filled in the blanks before she even said it.

Five minutes went by before she gained enough motor control to finish her commentary. "We were still living in Detroit, back then. Well, when…he was halfway across…" She stopped to dab her eyes and wipe her nose. "Some…punk gang-banger shot him with a ten-gage and ran him over with his car. I never saw him get up!"

My heart stopped for a full three seconds. I'd never heard her talk about her father, before. I'd always known he wasn't exactly something to talk about her, but…this was something even I couldn't deal with. I not only knew why Sam had cut herself, but why she'd always been so violent.

"Sam…" I said, trying to stay sane. "Sam, that's…that's terrible! That's horrible!" I could feel tears running down my face and smearing my makeup, but I cared more about my best friend than I did my makeup. All makeup is, anyway, is powder. Sure, I'd look like hell after I was done crying, but that was easily fixable. "Sam, I'm so, so so sorry!"

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

Those terrible moments I'd been crying were the longest in my life. I'd never cried so damn hard. Sure, I'd cried at Dad's funeral, but…that was just something else.

When I finally looked up, I saw it was nearing darkness outside and Ashley had just finished her final set. Say a few goodbyes, she took a while to get backstage. Thank goodness, because Carly had only just gone to reapply her makeup. "What's up, Carly? Sam?"

I looked up at her. Sniffling, I couldn't say anything but, "We're just…having a little heart-to-heart."

"If you need anything just let me know." Ashley sat down. She took a bottle of water from the minifridge and immediately swallowed some. She looked at Carly. "Carly Shay, you were great out there! I was listening, and I was…wow. You know, I have a feeling I could recommend you to someone!"

Carly looked up. "Umm…not right now, okay? I'm just…I'm tired and I need some time to rest."

"Well, don't let your guard down, Carly. There's plenty of fan and paparazzi to avoid after a concert." Ashley stood up. "You're sure you need a rest?"

Carly nodded, and I wheeled myself over to my best friend. "It's okay, Carls," I said, probably sounding more tough than I felt. "Let's just get back to the hotel soon as possible and get some sleep." Carly nodded, and she walked next to me.

"Carly," said Ashley, "before you go, would it be alright if you called me sometime? I'd like to set up a meeting between you and a producer in the music biz that'd be dying to market your voice."

Carly nodded. "I might do that. Right now, though…"

Ashley smiled. "Go on. Have a good night."

* * *

I was lying back in the tub at the hotel when I heard the door open and saw Carly come in, still puffy-eyed from all the crying we'd done. "Hey, Carls. Take a load off."

"Sam…thanks for being there, today. It really meant a lot to me. Hell, it still means a lot to me."

I smiled. She looked sad, so I said, "C'mere, kiddo." She sat down with her back against the tub and sighed.

"Sam…there's a lot in life we take for granted. I know, I know, you'll probably tell me to shut up for talking all this psycho-babble, but I just want to get it out there. I'm…I actually feel kinda relieved, finally hearing about him…about your dad. You never really talked about him before, so I always knew to keep off the topic, but…"

I knew she wouldn't continue. "Sorry I kept that from you. I knew you'd feel sorry for me, but…well, that's really what I didn't want. Sympathy. All I ever really needed was a friend, y'know?" She looked at me and nodded. I said, "Listen…I've done a lotta thinking. The only conclusion I could come to is this…I've been acting like a total Emo while I was by myself, lately. I normally wouldn't do this, but, want help." I gave her as serious a look as I could. "Sure, I don't like therapists and what-not, but I figure what harm could it be to get some help for crazy little me?"

Carly looked at me, a little confused. "You…? You're not crazy, Sam! Sure, you're a little temperamental, sometimes, but you've never been crazy!"

She stood. "Well, if you wanna be left alone…" Because she'd taken a shower earlier, she wore a robe, and as she took a step she fell backward and landed in the tub with me with a big _Splash!_ I was surprised, but she must've thought she'd hit her head on the tile or something, and she was spluttering. Her robe had somehow come undone and while she was struggling to get up, she crawled out of it. Still, the damn thing wouldn't let go of her, and she ended up dragging it along with her ankle. She fell in again, but this time I caught her.

"Whoa! Okay there, Carls?" I said, suddenly close. Too close. My breath was heavy, and so was hers. "You…you ah…scared me there, for a minute."

She closed the distance, and it was still a mystery to me whether she did it on accident…or for another reason. "Yeah…I kinda…"

There was a knock at the door to the suite, and Spencer was yelling. "Carly! Carly, there're reporters right on my tail! I think they're…OW!" Spencer sounded like he was trying to fend off the people tearing down the Berlin Wall.

Carly muttered, "Shit," put on a new robe, which thankfully happened to be on the rack across from the toilet, and hurried to help Spencer, who sounded like he was pressed against the door.

I heard her struggling to keep the reporters back, and when the door finally closed, the noise of the paparazzi finally subsided. "Whew!" said Spencer. "That was close!"

I was thankful Carly was there. I heard her saying quietly to Spencer, "Sam's in the tub…don't walk over there."

"Okay," said Spencer, equally as quietly and hilariously serious.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

Even though it was finally time for me to leave L.A., I still had one final hurdle in front of me…the moment I got down into the lobby that morning, I was immediately hounded by hordes of press.

Thankfully, these were more paparazzi, and I didn't have to talk to them. Still, I noticed some of them out front of the hotel, waiting in an orderly fashion, accompanied by more press than I'd thought there would be. Freddie was helping keep order, as was Sam…who looked like a vigilant bulldog, patrolling the perimeter in her chair. _She's so cute,_ I thought, immediately pushing it away. I'd agreed the previous night to a brief press conference, since I'd seen how pitiful Spencer looked when he'd been pressed against the door by the photogs. I stood in front of the crowd, wondering where to start.

For some odd reason, they were relatively quiet, but some muttered, and some seemed on the verge of shouting their questions to me like a time-bomb. "Hello," I said, stepping up to the mike. "I'm Carly Shay. I opened for Ashley Tisdale last night. I was born in Seattle, and practically raised by my older brother, Spencer, who looks like he's been under a steamroller." There were some laughs at the joke. I looked over at Sam, who motioned to keep me talking. "I'd never actually thought about singing. Sure, it sounds like something I might want to do in the future, but for now, I'll just keep committed to iCarly." I hesitated, then said, "Are there any questions?"

There was a sudden buzz as reporters scurried for position, wanting to get their top-priority question answered. "iCarly has had historic ratings! What're you going to do if they shut the site down?"

"Well," I said, thinking. "I'd keep going to school, following my heart. Sure, iCarly is fun, but there're other things to do in life. I'd always thought about selling short stories….Next question."

"You're one of the youngest, most successful webshow hosts in internet history! Why do you think you're a role model for young girls?"

"I hope young girls look up to me because of my caring, outgoing attitude. I mean, sure, I'm not perfect, but who is?" The reporters were again jockeying for position.

There was too much buzz. I couldn't take it anymore.

Before I stepped away from the microphone, though, I turned to Sam. "Sam…I've got something to tell you! For the better part of the last few weeks, I've been doing some serious thinking. There's been a lot going on, sure, but I never knew there'd be this much pressure! Sam, you're my best friend, and you always have been! But lately, I've been struggling, trying to find a way to tell you that you mean so much more to me! Sam…I'm gay, and I'm in love with you!"

The crowd was suddenly, eerily silent. I looked around, and every single reporter was stupefied, frozen there in disbelief. Spencer's eyes were wide, and looking over at Freddie, I barely noticed that he'd fallen over, unconscious.

"Freddie told me it was a dream," I said. "He told me kissing you was a dream. He told me kissing you was just something I'd done to figure out what was really in my heart. But, Sam…you're so much more. You mean everything to me." I shook my head, stepped away from the podium, and I knew…somehow I knew it was the right thing. She looked as though she was really, truly happy, almost somehow knowing the secret had been in me all along. I bent down and taking her face in my hands, I put my lips on hers, feeling a spark I'd never felt with anyone.


	14. iMight Lose My Website!

_Sam Puckett_

I listened to Carly's thoughts over the past few weeks on the limo ride to LAX. I'd never expected to have someone blurt out to the public I was gay, never mind have my best friend do it. And even though I'd been embarrassed as hell, I wasn't exactly ready to let it get to me, right now.

"I'm sorry, Sam," she said, her hand holding mine. "Sam…I didn't actually realize I was gay until now. I mean, I'd had dreams about you finding out, but…those felt so real, I didn't know what was and what wasn't." She looked apologetically at me. "Sam…don't hate me."

I shook my head. "Carls, I couldn't hate you…ever." I looked at her. "You're such a beautiful, sweet, cute girl." I smiled.

"Sam, there's something else I have to tell you." She looked over at Freddie, who was looking confused, and a little scared. "It's about time we told her, Freddie. She'll find out sooner or later."

Freddie's eyes widened, and even though he looked like he was going to shake his head, he nodded instead. "Yeah. It's probably about time you knew. Carly told me she never keeps anything from you, but this one thing she has for a while." We stopped as Spencer started to come to.

"Olly! Olly, the flak's too heavy! Take us up to twenty-thousand!" He stirred, shook his head, and sat up quick as lightning. "Oh my God!" He put his hand to his head. "Oh, God! I just had the weirdest dream!"

"Olly the Ostrich, again?" I said, picking up a root beer Carly passed me.

"Olly…? No!" Spencer said, defensively. He looked around. "I had a dream Carly told half the country she was gay," he muttered.

"It's true," said Carly, quickly putting her arm around her brother, who looked like he couldn't take much at that moment.

"Anyway," I interrupted, looking from Carly to Spencer and Freddie. "What were you going to tell me, Carly? Freddie?"

"Well…" began Carly, patting her brother's hand. "When I'd just had my thirteenth birthday, you'd gone home and Spencer had gone to bed. Freddie and I…we…" Carly took a deep, shuddering breath and continued. "Freddie and I lost our virginity to one another."

Spencer shrieked at the top of his lungs, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell back, unconscious again. As for me, I spat out the mouthful of soda I'd taken and started coughing all over. "Wait…wait, you…and you…?" I said, pointing first to Freddie, then to Carly. "Carly…you and Freddie…the two of you…? You seriously got tapped, Carls?" I'd finally been able to voice it, and Freddie and Carly both nodded.

"We've been doing it more recently, too," added Freddie, earning himself a pinch from Carly, who looked like she'd chop his dick off when she got the chance.

That was too much. I dropped my bottle of soda, which went all over the floor of the car, which was still rolling down the highway. "You…Carly, I used to think Freddie was gross." I looked menacingly toward Freddie, who recoiled. "You…you've seriously been fucking this boy bimbo the last…how long? Three months? Year? What?"

Carly muttered something, and I needed to lean in closer, but each time I did, she spoke more softly than the time before. "Goddammit, Carly, speak up!"

"We've been banging repeatedly since the day before you got out of the hospital, okay! God…dammit, Sam! I was confused about that kiss I gave you, and I was so sorry you'd lost your legs in that horrendous accident…I was scared for you, and it turns out I had good reason to be! I've seen those slices on your arm! You look like a fucking hamburger! But when I did it with Freddie again, I couldn't get enough! I did it because I needed comfort! I'd thought I'd fucking lose my friend, dammit!" Carly buried her face in her hands.

Freddie looked from Carly to me, and kept repeating the same motion. "Wait…the two of you kissed?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I realized she was confused, so I never said anything." I was beginning to feel like I'd gone wrong somewhere along the line.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

The moment the plane leveled off at thirty-seven thousand feet, I excused myself, making my way past Sam, who was attempting to comfort me. Yeah, I wanted to listen to her, I wanted to hear the soothing sound of her voice, but I couldn't. It's not that I didn't love her…I'd always loved her. I just needed some time to think things out for myself.

Locking the door behind me, I sat on the toilet and pulled down my skirt and panties, my hand hovering over my clit. For a moment, I just couldn't do anything. _Dammit, Carly! You're a damn idiot! You've got to be crazy if you can't think of something to do to keep this friendship from ending!_ I was horny, and even though I looked down and saw that I was dripping, I couldn't play with myself…not right now, at least.

Putting my panties back on and pulling up my skirt, I washed my hands and looked in the mirror. My mascara had run and my foundation was a little awkward, so I wiped it all off and brushed my hair, which fell a little past my shoulders. _There, Shay. A little more presentable._ I tried to smile, but I couldn't pull it off. I unlatched the door and made my way back to my seat next to Sam. As I sat down, she put her arm around me and pulled me into a nice warm hug. "I'm sorry, Carly. It's gonna be okay."

I couldn't take the emotion in her voice. I buried my face in her shoulder and cried, unable to show my face. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you, Sam. I've been a bitch."

Sam shushed me and stroked my hair, kissing my head. "No. No, you haven't. You've just been confused." I felt her hot breath on my head. Then I turned and she was there, her warm breath on my face. "Carly…Carly Shay, I love you. I'd like it if…you'd go out with me. Be my girlfriend."

I smiled, happy she'd asked. "What about Aura? Won't she disappointed that you've decided to start dating your best friend instead of her?" Sam had told me all about how Aura had popped her cherry, but even though I'd been pissed the first five minutes, the moment I'd stepped on the plane, it was all the pent-up emotion from the passed few weeks that came bubbling up out of me.

Sam smiled. "Yeah. She'll be disappointed. But she told me once that if I ever wanted to break if off with her because I'd met someone else, she wouldn't hold it against me, even if she wanted to." Sam continued to smile, even though I was clearly confused. "She's not the type to hold a grudge," she elaborated, earning herself a giggle from me. "Besides, Carls…you're such a nice girl and I'm sure Aura's seen that if you were gay, you'd be far more compatible for me than she is."

I furrowed my brow. "But I am gay," I said, defensively.

Sam said, "Well, I was speaking past-tense educated guess," and turned away, grabbing a soda from a passing stewardess' cart.

"Excuse me," said a voice I vaguely remembered from television. I looked forward and saw a face with near-perfect skin and red hair. At first I didn't recognize the girl, who was hot as hell, but then I looked at her red hair and put freckles on her face. "I couldn't help but notice your conversation with your friend…girlfriend…" Lindsay smiled awkwardly.

"Who the chiz are you, carrot-top?" said Sam, taking another swig of her soda and crushing the can with her bare fist.

"Lindsay Lohan," said Lindsay, holding out her hand. "TV actress, movie actress, and singer." Lindsay smiled, and Sam took her hand suspiciously. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"It's fine," I interjected before Sam could reply. "It's a public plane, so it's likely you'll hear just about anything on this flight." Lindsay laughed and nodded.

"Yeah. Got that right." She leaned toward me, against the back of her seat, and rested her head on her hands. "I like the webshow, by the way. Not bad." She paused before continuing. "I heard you in L. A. yesterday, and I've got to hand it to you…you've got something a lot of people would kill for. I was wondering…have you thought about singing…in your future, I mean?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

Lindsay smiled. "Well, if you do, just give me a call." She handed me a slip of paper with her cell phone on it, then sat forward again and didn't say another word.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

When the plane landed, I turned my cell on and called Aura, who answered immediately. "Hey, Sam," she said. "I've been thinking…I saw your kiss on TV." My stomach dropped. I could tell she really wasn't upset about it, but I'd been dreading this moment the whole flight. "Meet me for coffee tomorrow at eleven at the karaoke place?" she said, sounding a bit nervous.

I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me. "Yeah, Aura. Yeah." I sighed, then decided I should say something else. "I was only silent this long because I had a few things to think about, and the flight…"

"I know," she said, cutting across me. "It's okay, Sam. There's really no need to explain." I heard a sigh on the other end. "Well…I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. See you, babe."

"See you. Bye." Aura hung up, and I put the phone in my pocket and wheeled myself after Carly, Spencer and Freddie, who were waiting for me and watching for a cab.

"She didn't make it easy," I said to Carly. "I didn't really expect it to be, anyway."

Carly nodded. "Yeah. It's probably best she doesn't, anyway. You learn more that way."

As much as I hated it when people got all philosophical on me, I just let it roll off my shoulder that time.

* * *

When we got to Carly's place, she immediately went to the computer sitting on the island and logged into the iCarly account, checking a few things for the next show. "Oh my God!" she shrieked when I was just about to punch Freddie in the shins.

"What!" Spencer and me said at the same time. "What is it!"

"There're all these derogatory comments on our site!"

I wheeled myself over quicker than Spencer could run, and I looked at the screen, horrified.

"They're saying how we should be shut down for promoting something inappropriate and ignorant!" She scanned the webpage and continued her continuous breath of "Oh my God."

My heart was in my toes at that point. I'd never seen anything like it. I'd never actually thought someone might shut down iCarly. I'd never been worried about it, until now.

My heart leaped into my head when Carly let out her loudest scream yet. "The iCarly fans have come through for us!" she said, immediately jumping up and down where she stood. "Oh my God! They've rallied to defend us! They've…Sam…!" She looked down at me and kissed me, and I couldn't help but kiss her back. After all, she was my best friend. Soon, I let my tongue enter her mouth, but it took a lot of effort to make me pull myself away. She was breathless but she was still smiling. "Sam…they've put up an online petition! They've posted it on the iCarly comment page. Look!" Carly pointed to the screen. "Three hundred thousand signatures! There're more every minute! We might not lose iCarly!"

Even though I was excited as her, to an extent, I said, "Carls…just because they've got signatures doesn't mean there won't be someone along to ruin it. I mean, d'you remember Neville? You remember how much trouble that mofo's caused you?" Carly nodded, but she bent down and hugged me.

"I know, Sam. I know."


	15. iBreak Up

_Carly Shay_

I walked down to the coffee shop with Sam, just to wish her luck. I was nervous, scared out of my skin, but I wanted my best friend to know I loved her, even if I couldn't have her. "You know I'll love you no matter what you two decide," I said, holding her hand in my own white, trembling one. I kissed her lips, and she closed her eyes as our lips met. She tasted like the bacon of that morning's breakfast, but that was Sam, and even though it didn't turn me on, it didn't turn me off, either.

"I know," she said, giving my hand a squeeze. "I didn't know you'd insist on coming down here, but I'm glad you did." She smiled at me.

Aura sat at a table in the corner, and I patted Sam on the back, watching as she wheeled herself over to where her hot girlfriend sat. I looked downward and made my way out the door, walking down the street. I wasn't ready to confront anyone, yet, so I found an alley where I'd have a little privacy.

I slid down the wall and held my head in my hands, on the verge of tears. Anxiety was only part of it. The rest…my love for Sam…filled me up. I was wet, but I disregarded the feeling and concentrated on wiping my eyes with a tissue I fished out of my purse. I hadn't worn any makeup, thank God for that. When I finished drying my face, I rested my head against the red brick wall of the building. I'd never really been religious, but right then I sent up a silent prayer to any deities that might be up there to just do what was right, not what I wanted. As much as I wanted to lie in bed with Sam the rest of my life, I wanted so much more for her to be happy, to be away from confusion that might tear her apart.

After a while I looked at my watch and made my way back to the coffee shop, where I met Aura as she made her way out. "I respect that girl," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I love her, too. But I've got to let her go." She smiled and turned. With a last glance over her shoulder, Aura said, "You take care, okay?" Before I could respond, she was gone.

For a moment, I was unsure what to do. I turned and looked in at Sam, who sat at the table, drinking from a steaming mug of latte. She looked up and waved me over, smiling broadly. I smiled, tears still in my eyes, and went over to her, sitting down across the table from her. "So…I guess you and Aura are done, huh?"

Sam nodded, looking a little disappointed but all-in-all happy. "Yeah. She was great, and the sex was amazing, but she just didn't…she didn't complete me." She placed a hand on mine, which had fallen there. I realized that I had subconsciously wanted her to touch me. "I love you, Carly. I love you as more than a friend, and so much more than a sister." She smiled at me.

"I love you too, Sam," I replied, taking her hand and running it across my cheek. Those calluses were so boyish that they were more Sam than anything else. "I was wondering…would you like to go to a movie, sometime…? As more than friends, I mean."

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah. I'd love that, Carls." Setting down her latte, she leaned across the table, and I couldn't help but bring my hand to her face, feeling that thing that had filled my mind for so long. Our lips met, and for a long time it was just Sam and I, no one else. We didn't pull apart. We couldn't. If we did, the reality would all have been a dream. It would've been unreal. We were afraid.

Finally, I pulled back long enough to study her face. She shed a single tear and kissed my hand. "I'm hungry. What's Spencer making?"

"Tonight he said he'd make spaghetti tacos for dinner."

"I couldn't live without those things." We laughed and made our way to the apartment building.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

After dinner that night, Carly told me about the dream she'd had where we'd fucked. She was a little disappointed to hear that it hadn't been real, even though I wasn't the first one to tell her so, but she still knew it was probably best that it had been a dream.

"Sam," she said, lying next to me on her bed, "Sam, I want to fuck you." She kissed me, putting her hand between my legs and causing me to groan. "I want to fuck you, Sam. I want to make love to you. I want you in me." She kissed me again, this time straddling me and placing her hands on my tits. My nipples were erect, and thankfully I'd forgotten…conveniently…to wear a bra, today.

I nodded, and she unbuttoned the three buttons on the chest area of my shirt, then lifted it over my head and kissed one breast, then the other, and licked the cleavage in between, even though there wasn't much of anything on my chest. I groaned again, unbuttoning my pants and putting my hand down the front of my panties, which were already wet. Still, I touched my clit and penetrated myself, horny. Meanwhile, Carly had removed her skirt and was down to a pair of very revealing panties. Their scarlet silk was tight, and I knew she'd deliberately chosen them.

She let me move the panties aside and see her pussy, which I noticed was hairless. "You don't wax, do you?"

"I don't shave, either," she said to me, bending over me and sucking my nipples. I groaned and touched her clit, getting a moan from her. After a while, she came, and I let her remove the rest of her clothes, watching her breasts as she took off that shirt. She bent down and kissed just above my cunt, which was throbbing off the damn Richter scale, and then took off my pants and underwear, then straddled me again and ground her hips into me. I closed my eyes as she arched her back and moaned louder and louder.

After she orgasmed again, she rolled over, and I got on top of her, spreading her lips and revealing the pink innards I had been waiting so long for her to reveal. Without hesitation, I penetrated Carly with three fingers, immediately hearing a satisfying, horny wail from her. When she'd adapted to that, she graduated to four fingers, and I put my tongue on her clit, flicking it back and forth across that lovely nerve center, letting her force me deeper into her. She orgasmed again, and I got down lower, penetrating a puckered asshole that so badly needed my tongue. "Sam…" she breathed, using one hand to pinch and circle her clit while she ground herself with the other. "Sam…oh, yes! Yes!" I pulled back and rimmed her ass, then penetrated her hole again.

"Ooh, yes! Oooooooohhh, yes! Yes! Ooh! Uh! Ooh! Uhhhh!"

Carly came again and pulled my up to her, kissing my lips. The rank odor of her asshole was fresh on my breath, but I could tell she didn't care. She rolled me over, then pushed two fingers inside me. "Make me cum, Carly!" I muttered, teasing my nipples. "Make me cum! I'm so wet and horny!" Carly thrust her fingers deep inside me, bringing me to the brink of orgasm, then denying me of what I needed so badly. Before I could tell her, I felt her lovely mouth on my twat, sucking my clit and licking my deep innards. "Oh, God!" I don't know how long it lasted, but I knew for a fact it was the longest orgasm I'd ever experienced.

She lie gently on top of me, sucking my nipple and kissing me on occasion, her hand constantly between my legs. "Dammit!" I said on my seventh straight orgasm. "Shay…Carly Shay…Oh, God, yes!" I kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer to me. "Damn, that was a good fuck!"

She smiled, straddling me but not trying to make herself cum. "I liked it, too, Sam!" She kissed me, and shortly after that we fell asleep.

* * *

_Carly Shay_

For the next week, I considered whether I should ask for a demo to be made. I called both Ashley and Lindsay, talking to them and thinking over their offers. Even though Ashley's offer to bring me straight to a record company appealed and would have saved some time, I preferred to make my own way. "That's alright," said Lindsay when I finally accepted her offer after a close look. "I respect your decision, and I understand you like to work your way to the top. Hell, that's what I've done." She laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Despite the fact that the public hadn't approved of her since the fiasco a few years back, I still didn't care what the trends said, or what anyone said, for that matter.

Spencer agreed.

The next week, a representative from Buena Vista Records made his way up from Burbank to meet with us.

Luckily, Sam was with me. I couldn't have done it without her. "Don't worry, Carls," she said, holding my hand and kissing it. "You'll be fine! Remember when we took that deal to promote TechFoots?" I laughed nervously. I'd been hoping she wouldn't bring it up. "And remember when iCarly went TV?" I nodded, knowing she was right. "Well, Carls…this is bigger. You have the potential to make so much more money off of this!"

I pouted, thinking. "Sam…I'm not complaining. But, if I make it big, I'll…" I sighed, not sure how best to continue. "…I won't be able to do iCarly, anymore. I mean, I'll do it until I make it big…"

"You will, Carls!" she said, taking me by the waist and sitting me in her lap. She pulled my head toward her and kissed me. I loved the feeling of her sweet, warm lips on mine. "Hey, kiddo! I'm glad you at least see there's a brighter side." She smiled at me, and my heart warmed.

"Thanks for understanding, Sam." I smiled and kissed her back, feeling myself get a bit wet but ignoring it, knowing the rep would be there any minute.

"Got it!" shouted Spencer, acknowledging a knock on the door. He opened it, and a man, whose head came slightly above my waistline, made his way in, leaning on a walking stick but smiling. "You must be Carly Shay!" he said, holding out his hand. "Jim Trigger! Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Trigger," I replied, gesturing to the couch. "Make yourself at home, please!"

"Thank you!" Sitting down and beaming about, he sighed as I sat across from him, in one of the few chairs in the room. "So, Carly…I've reviewed the many, many recordings of your performance two weeks ago in Los Angeles, and I have to say, you've honestly got one of the best voices I've ever heard in the business. I've seen the cell videos, MP3 vids…now, even though you were great, we at Buena Vista still see room for potential, as far as Carly Shay is concerned." Jim pulled out a pen and clicked it, then wrote something on a pad. "This is a rough starting salary, with royalties and such figured in." He handed me the pad, and when I looked down, I gasped at the four zeroes. "Of course, this is assuming a moderate-to-demanded start. Obviously, if we market your voice and demand goes up, you'll start seeing a lot more zeroes where that came from."

He plucked the pad from my hand and I sat there, still staring at my hand. "Are…this is for real?"

"Yep!" said Jim, making a few more scribbles on the pad. "Of course, I'm aware that Spencer has gone to law school, and even though he only dropped out after three days, still knows his way around the law." Jim glared sarcastically at him.

"That is true," said Spencer, pooching out his lips and looking at me.

"Anyhow, I'll be drafting an all-inclusive contract tonight. First off, I'm assuming you'll want benefits?"

"Full!" yelled Spencer. Jim jumped, caught off guard. "Sorry."

"Yep. Expected as much. Seventy-five percent creative rights is standard. Of course, there are those who know their way around the business better back in Burbank, but if you want more, just say so now."

I looked at Spencer. "Eighty percent sound okay?"

Spencer considered. "Well…does that include accompaniment for Carly's songs?"

"It sure as shit does."

Spencer looked at me.

"Eighty-five percent, last offer." I turned back to Jim, who nodded and sighed, but still managed to smile.

"Royalties and commission at…thirty-seven percent should be good for what I know about you…unless you want to negotiate?" Jim looked around.

"I'm fine with it if Carly is," said Spencer.

For the first time, I looked at Sam. "What about you, babe?"

Sam nodded, putting her hand on my lap. "Whatever you want, kiddo. It's your contract."

I nodded. Jim wrote it down. "Obviously, you'll want to maintain schooling. Even if you do make it in this business…and let me remind you, it is tough…you'll still want a fallback, Carly Shay. I've seen kids who think they're gonna be peachy the rest of their lives. And the next time they have a bad day, they haven't had schooling, no one's there to dig them out of their hole. What's more, I've seen kids shut out of every record label in the industry just because they haven't agreed to or kept with their schooling.

"And, just so you know, Carly…" Jim removed his reading glasses, breathing heavily. "…it's going to take about twenty grand to get you a demo."

Spencer shrieked, steadying himself on the island in the kitchen.

"Well…" considered Sam. "What if…" Sam thought for a long time, and I could tell she really wanted this label for me. "Is it…theoretically possible…suppose we were to…" Sam sighed. Finally, she had it. She was a bit mundane about it, but I knew she thought it would work. "We could put on a concert for iCarly fans." She looked at me. "It won't be easy, Carls, and I know there's not much chance of it working. But if we were to announce it over the show, we'd get enough publicity that there'd be more donations. And anyone wanting to see the show in person could pay to get in. Just think, though," she said at a concerned look that must have been on my face. "Think about how many of those Ashley Tisdale fans wanted to hear more from you at that concert, babe. You know how much they'd pay to see you, again?"

I was touched. This is the first time since I'd known Sam that, when discussing money issues, she didn't think solely about money.

I nodded, and she turned to Jim. "If there's…if there's any way we could prolong the signing of this contract long enough to see the twenty grand, we'd do it."

Jim smiled. "I admire you're so positive and enthusiastic." He put his glasses back on and made a note. "I'm not guaranteeing anything, Shay. But if you pull this off, I'll be one happy son of a bitch!" He laughed, genuinely feeling emotion. "All right. Both parties will hold a copy when it arrives. If there's anything in there to dissatisfy you, just give me a call and I'll see if I can't arrange anything. And until you get that twenty thousand, I'll keep a grip on it like a vice."

"Thank you, Jim," I said, standing up and shaking his hand.

"Hey, if didn't want to make people's dreams come true, I wouldn't be in this business, Ms. Shay!" laughed Jim, once again planting the walking stick firmly in the floor. He stopped shy of the door. "Do you mind if I ask for something to drink? I forgot to get a bottle of water on my way here in the car."

"Lemonade, cream soda, root beer, water…?" said Spencer, going over to the fridge.

"Ah, hell…why not a lemonade? I swear…I can't remember the last time I had any!"

* * *

The concert had been a success. The first few moments, I didn't think there'd have been enough people, but within hours, we'd raised more than forty-thousand dollars.

Thank goodness we'd scheduled it three weeks ahead of time. Freddie had put up a few announcements on the site, and we talked about how excited we all were at least a couple of times each show. When it came time, Freddie was our official camera man.

I finally got to shake Jim's hand, and this time, for something I'd waited a long time for!

With the contract signed, the demo on its way, I was excited. But I wasn't a success…yet!


	16. iSucceed

_A/N - I am not about to apologize for the confusions and frustrations this fanfic has caused…from the lack of italics in dreams, to some dislike of a Carly-Sam coupling. It was meant to be confusing. I am not suggesting under any circumstances that it is a recommended or conventional style of writing, because it is not. However, I wish those of you who have enjoyed the fic happy reading, even despite the looming and inevitable ending. I have enjoyed writing the fic, and I hope that you, those of you who have enjoyed it from the beginning and those of you who began to read it later have as well._

_Allen Lee Gaynor_

* * *

Three Years Later

_Sam Puckett_

Carly and I'd been dating three years. Sure, we'd had our rough moments, but every relationship does, right? Yeah. We were the baddest. She had her singing career that she was thinking about supplementing with college, and I was already going. When I wasn't studying, I was always with her…whenever her career gave her a moment away. It was rare, sure, but I never complained about it. I couldn't. I just didn't have the heart.

On a routine checkup to make sure I was taking care of the legs I'd lost three years before, the accident where the truck had hit me, I was talking to my doctor, a hot Asian chick by the name of Sam Jennison, I brought up something that'd been bothering me the past week. "Doc, I've got this…this pain in my leg. Sometimes it seems like the muscle twitches whenever it hurts. Then there's a twinge, or a fluttering…I don't know how to say it."

Sam smiled at me. "D'you mind if I take a look?"

I nod and show her where. The spot on my thigh wasn't easily accessible, so I pulled down my pants and showed her. "Hmmm…" she said, testing my reflexes. "Well…you're definitely strong. You're working with your rehab?"

"Every day. Just make sure everything's in order."

Sam smiled. She sat down and told me I could put my pants back on. As much as I didn't want to…yeah, I've got my soft spot for hot doctors…I did as she asked then slid down into my chair. "What I'm about to tell you, Sam, is actually neither good nor bad…but what I call promising." She took out a chart I was now all too familiar with. "This here is the main nerve that was damaged. Three years ago, there was no activity. Two years ago, no activity. One year ago, still nothing." She put it away. "Today, though…it appears as though your nerve has begun to regenerate. It could be nothing, and I wouldn't go getting my hopes up, but I definitely believe you may one day be walking. At first, it won't be a lot, but with your rehabilitation every day, good diet and exercise, and all that, it might be possible that you'll be walking within the next couple of years."

I sat there, not believing a word she said. "Your shitting me?"

She smiled, laughed and shook her head. "No! I'm not kidding. I didn't think it was going to happen, either, when I took on your case. But now that you're showing an increase in activity, particularly with the apparent reactivation of that nerve, it is possible…probable, even, that you'll be walking."

My jaw dropped. "So…what - uh…what d'you want me to do?"

"Right now," said Sam, looking at my file, "I'd recommend doing what you're doing, right now. That, and maybe a weekly session with a professional…all covered by your elaborate insurance plan…might be something to think about." She continued after writing something down on a prescription tablet. "And, if it's all right with you, I'd like to recommend a drug just approved by the FDA. It's called _Nervactivation_. It won't accelerate the reactivation of the nerves, and while I don't guarantee that it'll do much, if anything, it helps aid in the activation and stimulation of active nerves, muscles and joints."

I was enthusiastic, but the thoughts of some of my friends in recent years, many who had overmedicated on some drug or another and been taken straight to the mortuary, lingered in my head. "What're some of the side-effects?" I said soberly.

"Well, there hasn't been much talk about those, but they've observed nausea, vomiting, and anything as severe as chronic stomach pains associated with an ulcer." She smiled. "But with you, I wouldn't worry too much. Still, if you're agreeable, I'll start you out on a low dose." She tore of the sheet of paper and handed it to me. "Twenty milligrams ought to be enough. That's good for a months' supply." Sam smiled. "Anything else I can help you with?"

I thought, then shook my head. "I can't think of anything, Sam. I'll call you if I think of anything."

"Take care!"

"See ya, Sam!"

* * *

_Carly Shay_

I'd just flown back to L. A. from New York, and I was still recuperating in the oversized, sunken bathtub with a bottled water in one hand. "Dammit, dammit, dammit," I muttered under my breath, setting the bottle down and leaning my head back against the edge of the tub. "Why'd you have to agree to go to the Big Apple?" It had been a good trip, and Steve Doocy was funny as hell, but I'd been so busy lately that I couldn't breathe without someone making a big deal about it. "Oh my God! It's Carly Shay, and she's breathing!" I could hear them saying in my head.

"I've got such a migraine," I said to myself, rubbing my head. I'd gotten in with everything off but my silky red panties. They were going to be ruined, but really, I didn't need a new pair. I had too much clothing, anyway.

"Want me to get in and make it go away?" said Sam, startling me.

"Hey, Baby!" I said to Sam, watching as she stripped down to nothing and climbed in. "What's been going on?"

"Not much," she said, smiling and softly laughing as she kissed me. She put her hands on my tits, which had rounded out a bit more but were going to get no bigger. "How's work?"

"God," I said, reaching for my water and spilling it. "Shit!"

"Don't worry, Babe," she said, kissing me and fondling me. "I'll get it later." Her tongue encircled mine, and her hand trailed down to my waistline. "Hm…silk, right?"

"You always knew your undies," I said teasingly. She pulled them down, and when she had flung them across the room, I shook my head. "No, Sam. Not right now. I don't feel like sex right now." I smiled. "God, as much as I want a screaming orgasm, I'm just too damn tired!" I put my hand to my head, again. "But you can snuggle up with me!"

Sam smiled. Her blond hair caught the sun just right, and when she smiled…wow. All right."

I picked up the waterproof remote that had come with the tub I'd had customized, via some of Socko's friends, of course, turning it on and putting on one of the looped DVDs I'd had Freddie make for us. This particular one, a recording of the waves, immediately started to calm me down. Sam laid her head on my chest, stroking my midriff and carefully avoiding my sweet spots. "I got some great news, today," she said, looking up at me. When I didn't say anything she went on. "Dr. Jennison said some of my old nerve cells were reactivating."

Immediately I sat up, my migraine completely forgotten. "What!"

"I thought you had a headache, Babe?"

"I do, I…God…you…really? Your nerves are regenerating?" I wasn't sure I was hearing right.

"Yeah," said Sam, sitting up and leaning back, her arms on the edges of the tub. She'd rounded out, too, but more so than I had. "I told Jennison about that twinge I get sometimes…she said it might be that I'll have more nerve function."

Suddenly, I was hornier than hell. I leaped at her, kissing her, touching her breasts, sucking her nipple. "Oh…God…Sam, you are…oh!"

"Whoa!" said Sam, holding me at arms' length. "Just because I might walk again doesn't mean I'm horny, Babe! You slow down there, Horn-Dog!" She smiled, but brought me into an embrace. "I'm glad, Carls." She laid me back and traced lazy circles around my nipples with her forefinger. "Jennison didn't say it was definite I'd ever walk again, but she said there was still a good chance."

I was still shocked. "I…she said…it's not a joke, right?"

"I'm not shitting you, Carly." She smiled at me. "I'm just telling you what she told me."

* * *

The next morning began one of my rare days off, so I got up early and prepared Sam a nice breakfast. She loved pancakes, so I made the biggest variety I could think of, then set it out on the table and went to get her.

She was already doing her rehab exercises. This morning, as she did whenever she was sensing an extraordinarily good day…and she was usually right…she was in the buff. She looked at me as I walked in. "Hey, Babe!" she said, finishing with her right leg. "I heard you doin' some cooking."

"Yeah," I said, 'innocently' adjusting my silk robe. "I got kind of…carried away."

Sam sat up and stretched. "Well…before we eat, how about you come over here and give me a kiss." I smiled at how she emphasized 'come.' Walking over, I leaned over her, straddling her and showing my lack of undies, again innocently. "You…are…a wonderful…delightful…young woman, Carly…Shay." She reached in my robe and fondled my breasts, bringing her mouth to a nipple. "You know," she said, kissing me, "I don't think we finished watching _Allie's Apartment - Part Two_ before you left." She grinned knowingly, a twinkle in her eye.

I picked up the remote on the nightstand and pressed play, immediately hearing the moaning of Allie, who was banging her lover, Kathie. Their moans filled the room, and I took off my robe, draping it across air and touching my clit.

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

In the three years I'd been dating Carly, I'd never gotten tired of seeing her naked. There were times when we switched things up a little, but I just never got tired of licking her pussy. I stared now as she touched her clit. Her pubic hair somehow parted, and it reached just to her inner thighs. The thin bush was enough to send my arousal soaring just shy of the point of climax. "Carls, make me cum." I looked into her black eyes, knowing she'd do what I ask. "We haven't fucked in forever, and I'm just…dying to…" I watched as she crawled, placing her face between my legs.

I felt her breath on my pussy. She hovered over me, and I waited, slightly impatient. "Carls…lick me. Please." She smiled and her tongue touched my clit gently, immediately sending a shiver throughout my body that told me I'd orgasmed. "Ooh…yes, Carly!" I finished orgasm and opened my eyes in time to see Allie and Kathie sliding their legs around, getting into a scissoring position.

Carly followed my gaze and smiled. "Ooh," she said, her hand on her pussy. "God, yes!" She rubbed her clit slowly at first, then fingered herself, alternating at irregular intervals. "God, yes…yes…YES!" I adjusted my position and rolled over, my mouth between Carly's legs, feeling the heat off her honey hole. "Make me cum, Sam!" she said. "Make me cum!"

I began to rim her asshole, licking her clit and looking up once in a while to see that she had her eyes closed. After a while I felt her fingers brush my cheeks, on their way to enter her. I parted her lips, making entry that much easier, and before long she orgasmed once…two times…three. After four orgasms, she rested her head on the pillow.

After a while she looked up at me, smiling. "Sam," she said, "I've got a surprise for you."

I smiled, my eyes saying it all. She brought out a vibrator, which immediately had me at a climax, and I felt myself spill over the sheets. I watched as my lover opened the…vibrator…? Toothbrush carrying case…to reveal a huge diamond ring. "Sam," she said, her lips meeting mine. I could taste myself on her, and it was such a sweet taste. "Sam, will you marry me?"

I whispered yes. Thank God for those states that had passed the gay marriage law.


	17. iWill Marry Sam iWed

_A/N - Nearing the end now. This is one of the hardest things I've ever done…ending this fanfic. All of you have provided me with something I cannot put into words. Here is the final installment of iCome Out of the Closet. Hope it is to your liking._

* * *

_Sam Puckett_

It was a few months before I saw any visible improvement in the condition of my legs. At that time, about four-and-a-half months, I was moving my legs…not a lot, but enough. Carly put all her projects on hold, much to my amazement and disappointment. I'd stay up late at night, arguing that she was being foolish, but no matter how I argued it, my lover just wouldn't hear my arguments. "Sam!" she pleaded, "I'm going to be there to support you, Goddammit! I will not let my fiancé struggle through this by herself!"

"Is that what you think?" I said to her. "You think I'm going through this shit, myself? You really think this is all me? Dammit, Carly, you're so fucking stupid, sometimes! I…I have not gone through all this alone, believe me, Carls! How long have we been together, Carly Shay! How long, huh? As a couple, three years! As friends, nearly eleven! I…" I huffed, pissed. "Carly, look at me…don't hold those projects, please. Don't put them on the shelf! I just…" I broke down, letting a tear slide down my face. I was too exhausted to wipe it away.

Carly knelt in front of me, kissing it away. "I'm sorry I called you stupid, Carls," I said, immediately feeling her finger on my lips.

"I know what you meant, Sam," she said, kissing me. Tears stained her face, little salty rivers leaving their tracks. "I don't like that you called me stupid, but I know what you meant. I'll…" She sniffled. "I'll keep on with work. But I won't be out of L. A. until I see you take your first steps." She laughed, drying her face on the hem of the dress she'd worn to the recording studio that day. I was about to protest about the dress, but she laughed it off. "Nah. It's not worth it, Sam. I was going to give this away to charity, anyway. That Haiti shit still hasn't been resolved." She looked into my eyes. "Oh, by the way…" She walked over to the table in the hall and brought back a package. "I picked this up at the box for you." She tossed it to me, referring to the private Post Office Box we held at an exorbitant monthly rate, even for what we could afford.

The package was thick, contained in what I gauged to be a large business envelope of some kind. Tearing it open, I placed the brown-paper-wrapped thing in my lap and looked at the envelope. My heart thudded loudly in my chest, surprisingly not breaking any of my ribs. It was from _Scorch Books_, to which I'd submitted a manuscript more than six months previous. I opened the envelope and shrieked as I read the first line, congratulating my success at having published my first book. I'd been working on the damn thing nearly two years.

"What!" said Carly, hurrying around and peering over my shoulder. "What is it!"

"I'm published!" I screamed, showing her the letter. "Dammit, Carly Shay, I'm published!"

Carly grabbed the letter from me, her face twisting in amazed shock. "Oh my God! You…did get…holy shit!" She dropped the letter, moving backward and sitting on a stool in front of the kitchen island.

I opened the brown-paper package and dropped it when I caught sight of what was in the paper…a projection of what the finished book should look like when it got released. "Oh my God!" I said, leaning back. "God, God, God!" I looked at her, my eyes wide. "So…" I said, catching my breath. "So, how…how much did they offer?" I continued to stare at Carly, who didn't move. She didn't even seem to be breathing. "Carls…Carly? Carly Shay?"

She looked at me. "How much did they offer?"

"Three…m - m - milli…three million."

My breath caught in my throat. "Three million? Holy…!" I couldn't speak. I choked on my words. "Oh my…" I wheeled myself to face the pool, which was still a pure, sapphire-blue. I didn't know it until I'd fallen…I collapsed, my butt just finding the chair at first, then when I fell backward, I heard Carly, who sounded breathless.

"Oh my God, SAM!" She rushed over to me, pulling me into the chair. "Sam, Sam are you okay, Baby?"

"Yeah," I said, finally. "What…what the hell happened?"

Carly looked nervous when she replied. "Well, Sam…I'd looked away to…think and…when I didn't see you in your chair, I thought…thought you'd…I saw you in front of the window, and…" Carly collected herself and tried again. "Sam…Sam, you were standing…!" She put so much emphasis on the word that I didn't hear her at first. Tears were rushing down her cheek.

I brushed it off as something completely medical. "That…my nerves, you know…they were firing because of all the excitement…" Underneath, though, I couldn't believe what my best friend…my lover, fiancé, was telling me.

Carly shook her head. "It's more than that, Sam," she said, her lips locking with mine. "It's a lot more."

* * *

Slightly shy of four weeks after the incident in which I'd been so excited my nerves had fired brilliantly enough to aid me in standing, I took my first steps in nearly four years. It was such a feeling that it was almost like flying. I looked up at Sam Jennison to see her smiling, trying not to tear up, her hot body betraying everything else.

The treadmill and water therapy were torture, but they were an important step in helping me recover from what I'd been through on that day.

Carly was there, as promised, dabbing at her eyes with a good-sized wad of tissue. She smiled, waving at me. Me, though…I was just concentrating on learning something I'd lost so long ago. It was like flying…I couldn't get enough. I wanted to run, and even though it took a lot out of me trying not to, I just avoided doing something that would've gotten me into the world's deepest pile of shit. I was laughing, and just when it was getting good, my legs buckled, giving way under me.

Sam rushed forward, putting me in my chair. Before I could ask the question that had been on my lips, my hot-bodied doctor said to me, "You're just tired from all the excitement. Rest a couple of days and we'll see you then."

Carly wheeled me out, sounding just as excited as I felt. "Sam, you should've seen yourself. You looked just like a kid on her first two-wheel bike!" We laughed at that, and I let her lift me into shotgun in the car.

But just because I couldn't carry my own weight on my legs didn't mean I couldn't have incredible sex with the best girl alive. After a long day, Carly laid me out in bed and stripped down to nothing, and I did the same, hornier than I could ever manage to put into words, even in one of my writings. She lie down, propping herself up on her elbows, then lifted her right leg, and I spread my own. We lie there a moment, and with one self-explanatory motion, she propelled herself and her thin-bushed pussy into my own, slightly harrier one. We moaned with the first impact. Our meaty pussies thudding together was something that I'd never experienced, something that heightened my arousal a thousand-fold. "God, CARLY!" I wailed, completely unable to hear her response.

"Aahhh!" she sighed, somehow sounding like it was at the top of her lungs. "Ahhh, YES! SAM, GOD YES! YES! GOD! FUCK!" Her rhythm increased, and when I finally came, I couldn't stop. This orgasm lasted longer than I thought was possible. I wasn't timing it, but I'm still thinking the orgasm lasted upward of half an hour. "God, Sam!" she finally said as we finished cumming. "God…hell, yes!"

The next thing I could get out was a laugh. "God, Carls," I said, kissing her. "I think we're done for the night."

Carly nodded, completely breathless, her tits moving violently with every breath she took. "Yeah." We were coated in a film of sweat. "Yeah, Sam. I think…I think we're done for the next few months." She smiled at me. "I think we're done with sex of any kind…porn, even." I groaned at that thought, but I knew she was right. There was no way we could keep that up and not completely confine ourselves to bed.

* * *

_A/N - I have enjoyed working on this fanfic, and I hope you have enjoyed. I hope I haven't left any of you "hanging." I will most definitely have some other fanfics up, a few of them undoubtedly erotic. And, no, I will no longer delve into the world of dream to "play" with your mind. If it is a dream, it will be far more relevant to the story line of any fanfic I dream up. Thusly, it will be in italic that I put any dreams from now onward. I may not be able to update my fanfics regularly, but I will do my best to do so. I have a life, and in real life, unfortunately, I am asked to do things that I would sometimes otherwise not like doing…that includes hoping to publish some of my own material, none of which are fanfics._


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